This is the Todd and Tyler Radio Empire.

Am I looking at, is that picture real of the, because the story's real, but...

Are you sure?

It shows a raccoon drunk at a liquor store.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Flat beside the toilet and the liquor store bathroom.

Flat straight out, like gin sanity except for not on the back.

Isn't that what they call that when they lay out?

Straight ahead, yeah.

Front legs out in front, back legs stretch out behind. That's a splute. That is a classic sploot. Yeah, it's the reverse insanity. Todd was on his... No, you're on your face. No, he was on his face. Yeah, yeah, you did the thing. So this... These raccoons broke into a liquor store, correct? Just one. We talked about raccoons getting drunk all the time, you know. We talk about, and I'm reading more and more,

and maybe it's just coming out. store, correct? Just one. We talked about raccoons getting drunk all the time, you know.

We talked about, and I'm reading more and more, and maybe it just comes in my news feed often, but

monkeys. Monkeys will eat the equivalent of a couple of alcoholic drinks a day from fermented

fruit. And they've been doing this for a long time, apparently, like since fruit started to ferment. Well, that's what the raccoons probably do, two of their dumpsters and a fish. There's garbage down there, too. They probably get a hold of that. Right. And they like it. But this one broke into the liquor store. I know. He knows where the booze was. Ashland, Virginia. So seeking a buzz isn't just human nature. No. It's the nature of most beings. Yeah, I wonder if he goes back. I bet you're going to keep seeking the buzz? Do you think he's been drunk before? I think that raccoon has been drunk before. Probably. You could smell the booze coming from the outside. His friends and family are all disappointed.

Right. I mean, if you're hanging around.

Yeah. If you're diving the dumpster. Have a raccoon intervention. He's diving the dumpster of a liquor store. That's a great band name, isn't it? This isn't the first time he's done, you know, made a dive in that dumpster. Oh, this isn't a dumpster? He made it into the store. He broke in the store. He broke a picture.

He probably broke a glass.

He probably just knocked something down.

Yeah, there's a picture of one of the aisles where he Oh, this isn't a dumpster. He made it into the store. He broke in the store. He probably broke a glass. He probably just knocked something down.

Yeah, there's a picture of one of the aisles where he'd been, he'd obviously knocked a whole bunch of stuff off. Some of the bottles broke. He obviously got into, it looks like maybe some good high-end whiskey. What I love it is, the fact is it. A couple mixers. I love the, he thought he had to pitch and found the bathroom when passed out in there.

Yeah, and so there's a picture.

Or maybe he's trying, maybe he's going to hear. The fact is it... A couple mixers. I love the... He thought he had the piss and found the bathroom and passed out in there.

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