Tonight's broadcast is brought to you by the company you depend upon for all of your greatest needs, Heart Life.

These stories are true dramatizations from our fair city's glorious history.

So listen and remember, heart life, all the life you'll ever need.

Paradigms. And remember, heart life, all the life you'll ever need. Paradise, dear listeners, is a difficult thing to define.

Is your Shangri-La a place where the air is always warm and blueberry algae bars grow from the trees?

Could your Arcadia be a place where mole people

periodically emerge from beneath your furniture

to give you cold drinks and then scuttle away?

No.

For corporate policy tells us

that an ideal happiness level is achieved

by forever meeting one's quota.

But outside of the city's walls, with no quota to meet and no manual to light the path

to happiness and productivity, who knows what false idols may lead a once loyal policy

to a mirage of satisfaction.

This is why, dear listeners, when our survivors out on the tundra

stumble upon a place of moderate warmth with lichens and the occasional leafy plant,

they falsely believed that this small patch of nature matched the criteria for paradise.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, a shrubby sedge you cannot eat, but Willow shoots a tasty treat.

Oh, wow.

So that's what you...

Wish we'd had you around earlier.

...