In putting effort into not having this sense of hierarchy where my one relationship gets to control the other or always takes precedence over it, that we can sometimes feel like, oh, well, I need to show this new person who have maybe only been dating a few months or less, right, or a fairly short amount of time, relatively,

that they are, have just as much priority or power in my life or whatever that is or that they have the

potential for that and I actually think sometimes we can cause more problems by

doing this because if you think about it you're saying hey look you're you're

you're just as important to me as this other person or you're you're just you know there's no

hierarchy here you're equal to me but in practice you have five years of history and trust and

you know consistency and inside jokes and all of these things that make our relationship special, right?

And I think that when we try to almost like accelerate this second relationship up to that speed,

it's not genuine. it doesn't have that

same foundation it's not the same and so I think it's something worth considering as

another approach might be to try not to over promise this new person in terms of how

what you know primary feeling of a partner they will be right away and instead kind of let it be

something that is a little more casual and more new probably like your other relationship was

when you first started dating.

Welcome to the Mult-ammery podcast. I'm Jace.

I'm Emily.

And I'm Dedicur.

We believe in looking to the future of relationships, not maintaining the status quo of the past.

So whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, swinging,

casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently,

we see you and we're here for you. Fongs I know I did.

Force made up for myself to fix.

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