This episode of The Apex and the Abyss contains graphic descriptions, audio, and language that may be unsettling to some individuals.

Listener discretion is advised.

If you have never felt a pang of loneliness or the dreaded feeling of abandonment. Count yourself as a lucky

individual. It's not easy to feel like there is no one out there who understands you. It is arguably

even worse to think that you have finally found your place only to lose it when people decide to leave you.

This could be a romantic relationship,

familial, or a platonic one. They all hurt when they don't end as you intended. But that's life,

isn't it? A constant undulating rollercoaster of emotions that we do not have control over, despite what we tell

ourselves when the days turn into nights, and we are alone with our thoughts. I believe it is safe

to say that we have all laid awake at night, unable to sleep, thinking about what we could have

done, what we could have said, to make someone stick around a little bit longer. Within time and as we grow,

the sting of loss and abandonment dulls. Typically a person moves on to some extent,

learns from the experience, and will inevitably try again to open themselves up to another person.

That's the way it should go. People who want to be in your life will make the effort to another person. That's the way it should go.

People who want to be in your life will make the effort to do so.

You should never have to feel like you are forcing someone to be around you when they don't want to be.

Personally, I have had all types of relationships that have felt like this.

I have felt like a placeholder for someone when they were just waiting for someone else to come into their life

because I didn't fit the typical mold of their relationships.

But these specific individuals didn't have anyone else to latch on to at the time.

And I naively thought that if I was a person who went above and beyond in any

relationship, that one day I would be enough. It isn't a good feeling, but after certain events

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