I just want to say, I'll say this.

So in my darker moments, I reflect on the fact that caring about politics is a mental

illness kind of, uh, in American politics.

What it is is essentially it is a mad and desperate search for a sense of control.

It's to feel like you have some insight, some word of say, it was going to happen.

Even though deep down and your darkest heart, you know, that's not true.

You know that you were totally at the whim of history and fate, machinations of man and

beast and that you have very little to say about where you end up and politics is a way

to feel like maybe, maybe I can influence it.

And for the most part, that's what it is.

It's a sort of a sick displacement of one sense of, uh, helplessness.

Uh, and that just goes beyond caring about politics.

It goes voting and being involved and everything because it really is an illusion.

And politics really is beyond us for the most part.

It's huge forces, forces like capitalism and, and, uh, that shaped things beyond, uh,

a scale that we could ever even comprehend because we're so small.

But I've been trying to fight against this for a year now because I don't want to lose my way.

I don't want to get stars in my eyes, but I cannot get over this feeling.

Even when I'm feeling at my darkest and most pessimistic that this is a moment,

that is the beginning of a chance to actually get closer to putting your hand somewhere

close to the levers of destiny, not with this election, uh, not with this primary,

not even with Bernie getting in.

...