388: Gretchen Rubin | Mastering Happiness

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2015

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How you successfully create a habit may not work for someone else, and vice versa. "Habits are a good servant and a bad master." -Gretchen Rubin The Cheat Sheet: Why does the habit of making your bed matter? Is there a link between happiness and minimalism? What's the biggest myth of all according to Gretchen? What's the strategy of other people and why is it so crucial? How to know if you are an abstainer or a moderator. And so much more... If you've tried to change habits in the past but haven't succeeded you'll want to hear what today's guest has to say on the matter. Gretchen Rubin is the three-time best-selling author who has made a study of happiness and habits. We talk about her books, including her book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Everyday Life, and the finer points of habit-formation and happiness on episode 387 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Get 10% Off Onnit! More About This Show: Invariably Gretchen Rubin finds herself discussing habits with the people she meets, it's one of her favorite subjects. On today's episode you'll hear simple and effective habits to help you create a calmer, more orderly home. You'll also hear the strategy of the treat and loopholes we sometimes use to justify breaking a good habit. A simple and effective way to create a calmer, more orderly home is to use the one-minute rule: if it takes a minute or less, do it right away! When you get home, put your jacket away instead of dropping it wherever it lands. Your home will feel orderly and so will your mind. When it comes to forming everyday habits one effective strategy she recommends is the strategy of the treat. Choose a treat that's good for you and healthy and adds to your life, like buying new music every week if you're a music lover or lighting candles in your home. The treat needs to be something you do for yourself consistently, think of it as a way to refortify and take care of yourself rather than a reward you have to obtain. If you are taking care of yourself and staying restored you will be more likely to maintain other healthy habits because good treats bolster your will power and self-discipline. Gretchen also highlights a few of the loopholes we use to get out of "being good", these are rationalizations we make in the moment to break a healthy habit. There are over twenty she talks about in her book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Life, but one we discuss today is the self-actualization loophole. This is where the rationalization that it's ok to have this piece of cake because we need to enjoy life or we tell ourselves "you only live once". If you're using that train of the thought ask yourself how you'll feel about your decision later: will you feel good or will you not even remember that piece of cake? If you'll feel good and it will create a positive memory for you, then go for it. If it won't, then don't do it. We also talk about how to frame your treats, why we can't always create habits (even the fun ones!) and the power of accountability in creating last change. Thanks to Gretchen for sharing her wisdom and special thanks to you for being here! We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS GRETCHEN RUBIN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Gretchen know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Gretchen on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Gretchen Rubin's websiteThe Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin Happier at Home, by Gretchen Rubin Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Life, by Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is The Art of Charm. Learned everything you need to know to crush it in business, love, and life.
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1:03.0	That's where we've got our fundamentals like eye contact, the way you sit, stand, walk, talk, body language, reading it, dating attraction, business networking, negotiation, all that stuff that we wish we'd learned and mastered years ago.
1:13.0	And of course we have our live programs running every single week here in Los Angeles, California details at theartofcharm.com slash bootcamp or give us a call or email me Jordan at theartofcharm.com.
1:24.0	I read everything and I'm looking forward to meeting you here at AOC on with the show today. We're talking with Gretchen Rubin. She is nothing short of amazing.
1:33.0	She's the author of several books, including Blockbuster New York Times bestsellers like the Happiness Project and Happier at home. She has an enormous fan base of which now we are helping her grow here. We're lucky to have her with us. I think she is is an absolutely wicked interview instant classic.
1:50.0	We're going to talk about order minimalism unlocking or creativity myths about habits. Why when people have habits that work for them, they're happier, healthier, more productive.
1:59.0	The crucial secret to making habit change possible even for those who feel before why some people do better in the face of strong temptation others by being moderate.
2:07.0	Loop holes that you use to convince yourself that you don't need or do need to do something and some key habit strategies that help people succeed so enjoy this one with Gretchen Rubin.
2:20.0	Tell us about the books that you've written and what they're about. They're sneak peek everybody. They're similar themes right.
2:26.0	Yeah, they're both about happiness. One was the happiness project, which was about the year I spent test driving. The wisdom of the ages contemporary science and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.
2:39.0	I wanted to see like, what does everybody say you should do? And if you do it, does it actually work? Yeah.
2:44.0	Yeah, I was looking for like, what are the universals? There's not that many universals. But it seemed like almost everybody has this idea of home and wanting to have like.
2:55.0	Being happy at home and I thought and you know, you can't it's hard to be happy if you're not happy at home. So I wanted to really take the subject of happiness and go really deep into this one kind of universal area.
3:09.0	And figure out if there were things I could specifically do around the idea of home.
3:15.0	Ah, interesting. And it's so common. It's almost so common knowledge that it's cliche, right? If you're you always hear like, oh, he, you know, the reason that this person told life is f'd up is because his home life is not good.
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