384: Toddler Tantrums, Boundaries + Raising Emotionally Safe Kids | Devon Kuntzman

Be Well by Kelly Leveque

Kelly Leveque

Nutrition, Education, Health & Fitness, Alternative Health, Self-improvement

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2026

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Toddlerhood doesn’t have to feel like survival mode. In this episode, I sit down with Devon Kuntzman to break down what’s really going on in your toddler’s brain and why so many common parenting approaches backfire. We get into tantrums vs. meltdowns, emotional regulation, and how to hold boundaries without constant power struggles. Devon shares practical tools to handle defiance, reduce stress, and build a calmer, more connected home. → Leave Us A Voice Message! Topics Discussed: → Why do toddlers have tantrums → How to handle toddler defiance calmly → What is toddler emotional regulation → Tantrums vs meltdowns what’s different → How diet affects toddler behavior Sponsored By: → Be Well By Kelly Protein Powder & Essentials | Get $10 off your order with PODCAST10 at https://bewellbykelly.com. → Hiya | Get 50% off your first order at https://hiyahealth.com/KELLY Timestamps: → 00:00:00 - Introduction → 00:01:43 - Devon’s “Why” → 00:04:45 - Toddler Brain 101 → 00:08:36 - Teaching Emotional Regulation → 00:15:03 - Knowing The Plan → 00:18:59 - Tantrums vs Meltdowns → 00:22:01 - Disrupting Our Stress Response → 00:25:40 - Maintaining Boundaries → 00:28:21 - Handling Defiance → 00:31:55 - Consistency vs Perfection → 00:34:35 - The Recalibration Period → 00:38:56 - The Core Principles → 00:45:01 - Bedtime For Different Ages → 00:51:12 - Whining → 00:57:42 - Sleep + Nutrition → 01:01:30 - High Sugar Breakfasts → 01:04:19 - You Can Do Hard Things Further Listening: → The Secret to Raising Resilient, Emotionally Healthy Children | Dr. Billy Garvey Check Out Devon: → IG: @transformingtoddlerhood → Website: https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/ → Book: Transforming Toddlerhood Check Out Kelly: → Instagram → Youtube → Facebook

Transcript

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0:00.0	all behaviors communication and when we start looking at behaviors communication, then
0:04.0	parenting gets easier. People think kids only get dysregulated when they're upset, but excitement can
0:09.5	also disregulate kids too. Cantrum tends to be goal oriented where kids are using the quickest way
0:16.5	they know how to get the outcome that they want. Where a meltdown is coming from like just pure dysregulation, whether that's emotional dysregulation, sensory dysregulation, a combination of the two. When they're enrolled in the plan and the plan is clear in advance, then things are going to go better. Say something like, hey, we're going to target today and we're buying just the things on the list there's no toys on the
0:37.9	list today so we can look at toys but we're not going to bring any home doing that every time
0:42.5	before you go to target you'll start to notice that there's no more tantrums of bringing home
0:46.9	the toy you're listening to be well by Kelly Leveck.
0:57.1	Hey everyone, welcome back to the Bewell by Kelly podcast. Today I have a toddler expert, Devin Coonsman.
1:03.5	She wrote the book, Transforming Toddlerhood, and she has a massive following on social media.
1:08.3	Now over a million parents and caregivers go and listen to her research
1:13.3	and her tips and I am just with with julian only two and a half I'm so excited to have you on the
1:18.4	show thank you so much for having me I'm so excited for this conversation me too it's been such a
1:24.2	long time coming and we have so much in common, like, being moms and wanting
1:29.1	to take care of our families, but also really loving health and nutrition and, like, that
1:34.3	holistic approach. So I feel like it's going to be a great combo. So excited. Can we start
1:39.6	from the beginning? Like, how did this all start for you? What made you write transforming toddlerhood and share this
1:46.2	message? Yeah. So for many years, I mean, my background is that I have a degree in psychology and
1:53.9	child development. I'm an ICF certified coach, but, you know, that's not the interesting part.
1:58.3	The interesting part is that I was a nanny for high-profile
2:01.8	families all over the world for many years. So I got to work one-on-one with so many families,
2:08.0	so many kids, so many dynamics, so many different needs, and really got to see that every
2:14.9	child is really unique. I also started to observe within myself
	...

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