Anxious people are avoidant and avoidant people are anxious.

They both manifest in the same ways.

Anxious folks, they think, oh, but I'm expressing myself. It's like, no, you're not. You're using protest behavior. You're trying to bid, you're using bids for connection. You're trying to get that connection back in any way that you can. You're not actually expressing yourself. Because if you expressed yourself, it would be, hey, here's what I need. here's what I'm not getting in this relationship.

And is this something that you could do or not?

Because then you would just, it would be, hey, here's what I need, here's what I'm not getting in this relationship. And is this something that you could do or not? Because then you would just move the fuck on if you actually were expressing yourself. But instead, the anxious person is avoiding looking at themselves and understanding what's really coming up for them and really under the hood. That's why anxious and avoidant and need each other. It is a codependent relationship, and that's why they always come back. No, it's just because you haven't set boundaries to let them

know that they're not allowed to anymore. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark

Groves podcast. Today I'm joined by the badass. I like to introduce you as badass. I think that's a very relevant statement.

She is a dating coach. She's founder of the podcast, the acclaimed podcast, do the work. She's also a

private coach and she helps people find success in dating and relationships. She is none other than

Sabrina Zohar. Welcome. Hi, Mark.

My gosh, I'm so excited to have you here. I'm so excited to be here. We had you undo the work,

and now I get to be on the Markrose podcast, and we get to celebrate your book launch. There's so much

fun stuff happening. Oh, man, and to get into dating and relating, because I think, you know,

no matter where we go, there we are,

and relationships seem to be a great amplification to the there we are, the part of us that we bring to things that, you know, actually I think contributes to a lot of our relationship outcomes.

So first, I'm curious, what made you become a dating and

relationship coach and expert? So this was serendipitous. I mean, if you will, I have a clothing

line called software. So for me, I always saw like, okay, entrepreneur, I'm going to be a business

owner. And even when I started that, like I started that after I almost lost my mom and she had this crazy brain aneurysms. It was a whole thing. And I just realized like I was tired of working in fashion. I hated just the grind and making other people money. So I just thought of it like, oh, I'll be an entrepreneur. Then when I started software i was like okay i'm a i'm a clothing line owner like i just never found really like what made

sense for me i went to acting school i did I did this. I was kind of all over the place. And so started software, ate shit for quite a long time, went through COVID, did the whole thing, moved to L.A. and thought that dating in New York was bad. And when I went to L.A., like, just a whole new level of terrible. And I was alone a lot, like quite a bit, a lot more than I actually anticipated to be, really tried to make friends there. And like, I just didn't connect it to the city. And I felt like very lost. And but while I was doing all this, I was supposed to be on Shark Tank and I was doing all these podcasts and panels. and I found I enjoyed being in front of people. I enjoyed like the performance aspect,

but I didn't in front of people.

I enjoyed like the performance aspect, but I didn't want to be another character. I really just

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