#38 CHIN HAIRS,CHODES & VOICEMAILS FROM LISTENERS WITH COMEDIAN PAYTON PAYNE

Literally, Not OK with Alexis Waters

Alexis Waters

Society & Culture, Tv & Film

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 October 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This episode is matcha madness, babe 💚 I’ve got the hysterical and unhinged Payton Payne in the studio, and let me just say — we’re talking grass-and-ass flavored drinks, fake job scams on Microsoft Teams (yes, The Rock might be involved), and more choad confessions than the internet is probably ready for.

We’re also answering YOUR voicemails — tackling college football husbands, needy-ass dogs, and an Amish plumbing horror story that will haunt you forever.

💚 Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE & COMMENT why you’re literally not okay this week. I live for it.

👀 Follow us:

📲 Alexis: @alexiswaters_

on IG & TikTok

🎤 Payton: @paytonsplace

— catch her at Black Sugar Comedy Show on Oct 10, Dallas Comedy Club!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Pate in motherfucking pain.
0:01.6	I dare you to drink my matcha.
0:05.6	Please.
0:06.8	I just want you to try it.
0:08.3	I've tried matcha.
0:09.9	It tastes like grass and ass.
0:13.1	It does taste like grass and ass, but it's a better...
0:15.5	So what are we doing?
0:16.2	It's a better alternative for coffee.
0:19.3	I think it's better for your teeth. I think it's better for your teeth.
0:21.8	I think it's better for your anxiety.
0:25.6	So I think
0:26.7	matcha is the way to go. It's more earthy.
0:30.2	It doesn't make you go the bathroom.
0:32.1	Actually, that's a lot.
0:32.9	Let me ask you something. Do you think I want to drink this earth, baby?
0:36.8	Please drink the earth. I'm begging you.
0:39.6	And then I put a smiley face on it. Yeah. What a little sticker where they put the ingredients and what
0:44.6	they put in the shit. I did you make this at home? The less I know the better. But all that
0:52.9	matters is we're together today.
0:54.6	Okay.
0:55.2	And we met a year ago.
	...

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