Greetings to you, my beautiful friends.

It's me, D. Trustle, and you're listening to the Ducatruscle Family Hour podcast.

If you're new to the podcast, this podcast is being recorded on 50 acres of beautiful farm

land in Omaha.

That's where the DTFH Collective lives.

I'm just the mouthpiece for the collective.

And I feel lucky that I've got this job.

But certainly if it were just me, we'd have not much.

The podcast requires all kinds of things to function.

For example, I have to have several psychoactive ointments rubbed into my perennium, my nipples,

and my lower nape just so that I could do these openings.

Without the ointments, I'm basically a slobbering mass of nothingness.

I just sort of collapse like one of those air mattresses, just kind of deflating down.

So every morning, freighter Josiah wakes me up and he rubs psychoactive lotions and ointments

that have been extracted from forest toads, monarch butterflies, Korean beetles, dog mantises,

and a little bit of fern undilets into my perennium and into my nape and into my nips.

And then I slowly come to, I wake up, they pull me out of my sleeping vat and then they place

me in an electronic scooter also known as a Badger scooter.

They're fantastic.

Listen to, if you watch Fox News, you've probably seen advertisements for them.

And if you want to get a Badger scooter, just use offer code carbs when you go to Badger's

scooter overdrive.com.

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