#372: 'Roid Rage with Mike Cannon

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2019

⏱️ 145 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mike Cannon met me at Gas Digital to tell me about his old days as a total meathead who legit took steroids. I'm not even kidding. You can't believe how much of an idiot this guy was. He's normal now, but he was a juice head moron back in the day. We also talked a lot about our mutual love for underground back room poker games. And go see Mike record his first comedy special this Monday, November 4, at the Village Underground in Manhattan. Tickets at http://www.MikeCannonComedy.com

Tour Schedule (tix at http://arishaffir.com/tour:

San Jose - November 7, 8, 9

Detroit (sold out) - Nov. 14

Chicago - November 16

Cincinnati - November 17

Transcript

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0:00.0	We get into each other's face. My dad's like six to two seventy five at the time and I was six one two oh five
0:06.9	I was at like kind of the height of my steroids and he got so fired up
0:10.9	He threw a punch at me like so he went and apropos of nothing like in our in each other's faces
0:16.1	He goes to uppercut me and I guess that I mean I've I've always had a contentious relationship with my dad
0:21.8	So instinct took over where I was like this is it fuck yes green lights baby
0:28.3	Let's go so I chop down on his hand as if I had seen it coming
0:33.0	Chopped down on his forearm as he was trying to connect to my body
0:36.1	I gave him a fucking dead arm and then I like he went full speed
0:40.1	He went full speed and I just chop down and like caught him perfect
0:44.2	And so then like an outfielder I
0:46.8	Crow hopped and just punched him as hard as I could
0:50.8	Yeah, the long throw where you step right and then big hop with the left and I did that except a fucking full punch in
0:58.0	My dad's giant Irish melon
1:28.0	I
1:50.0	Alright ladies and gentlemen, I am doing this way too late 415 in the fucking morning
1:55.7	Fuck is wrong with me. Why can't I get this shit done on time? I got home at two
2:01.4	Fucking idiot did I can't do anything right?
2:06.6	All right, I'm here though. Let's do it. Let's make the most of it
2:10.9	Fucking 415 in the morning, what the fuck?
2:13.0	I wanted to go to bed an hour ago and then I got my second win
2:16.2	You know what it was I started talking to fun. Here's the problem with New York comedy you start talking to people I
2:21.9	Did a spot talk to Sam a rail he was like I gotta go home. It was like okay. Sure just left him right there
	...

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