370 SelfWork: Finding Resilience: Can You Learn to Enjoy Life After Tremendous Loss?
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 1 December 2023
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
One of the reasons why many people suffer during the so-called “holiday” season is because it’s the first - or one more of many holidays - that they’re actively grieving a loved one’s death within the last year or even farther away – and they cannot seem to work through their grief enough to want to step back into life. Into living this moment that’s right before them.
I tuned into a Hidden Brain episode this week that discussed a recently researched concept of grief in a very personal way, as resilience researcher Lucy Hone told the story of her own nightmare - the death of one of her children. So, I wanted to pass her ideas on to you – as you might be one of those people who are struggling with grief – and not knowing how to get out from under its shadow.
Our listener email is a from a listener who says he’s been diagnosed with what’s called “schizoaffective disorder” – and wonders if I know much about – or can help him with – intrusive thoughts that he can’t seem to rid himself of.
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Vital Links:
Stroebe and Schut research in 1999
Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through Devastating Loss, by Lucy Hone, 2017
My own recent podcast on grief
Schizoaffective disorder symptoms
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:29.0 | Hello and welcome or welcome back to self-work I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I'm a |
| 0:34.3 | clinical psychologist and I've lived and worked in Fable Arkansas for over 30 years and |
| 0:38.8 | I'm so glad you're here. We started self-work eight years ago now to extend the walls of my |
| 0:45.1 | practice to those of you who might already be extremely interested in |
| 0:48.5 | psychological issues. Maybe you're in therapy, maybe you're looking for answers |
| 0:52.1 | yourself, or you're in a third group that maybe, just |
| 0:56.2 | maybe you are pretty darn skeptical about the whole mental health world and think people |
| 1:02.1 | are just blaming their parents for everything and |
| 1:04.4 | you wouldn't walk in the door of a therapist. Well, I'm a therapist. So if this makes |
| 1:09.8 | sense to you and you kind of need to listen to it, then maybe just maybe you'll change your mind. |
| 1:16.0 | Don't know, hope so. |
| 1:18.0 | One of the reasons why many people suffer during the so-called holiday season is because it's the first or one of many |
| 1:25.6 | holidays that they've actively grieved a loved one's death within the last year or even |
| 1:31.5 | maybe further away and they cannot seem to work through their grief |
| 1:34.8 | enough to want to step back into life into living this moment that's right |
| 1:39.9 | before them. I have a very good friend who's doing just that, trying to find her way, she's |
| 1:44.8 | doing a really good job, but I thought about her for today's episode. |
| 1:49.9 | So when I tuned into one of my favorite podcasts, Hidden Brain, and heard them discussing how to cope |
| 1:55.0 | with living after a devastating loss, I listened. |
... |
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