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Hey guys, thanks so much for tuning in to today's show. Today I welcome Juliet Caramann and Juliet is a certified mind and body coach teacher mentor and writer on relationships sex intimacy trauma and healing and decades of her experience with conscious sexuality and her ability to hold deep space has her clients regain confidence in their bodies psyche and relationship with themselves and

today Juliet and I talk about communication obviously we've had past shows on communication and we can really never have enough because it's such an integral part of improving our lives improving our relationships and I really enjoyed the tools that Juliet gave for us. I really encourage you to listen and implement the conversational prompts that she shares as a way to connect more deeply with your partner and communicate better.

We can all use as many tools as we can get at least I know I can and appreciate you guys so much for tuning in for leaving those five star reviews on iTunes if you have listened to this show if you enjoy this show just take a couple minutes it really helps us out if you go on iTunes or Spotify or wherever you listen and leave us a review we really appreciate that and I hope you guys are having a wonderful day enjoy today's show.

Hi Juliet, thanks so much for joining me on the show today.

Thank you for helping me it's a pleasure.

Today we're going to talk about communication and how we can communicate more openly and lovingly with our partners and obviously as I discuss with you in the pre show we've covered communication quite a bit on this podcast but it really can never be covered too much and always

I love hearing different experts approach and it could be something super subtle and different but that can make all the difference for an individual listening in their relationship so let's start with having you tell our listeners why you love talking about communication helping people improve it and then we'll talk about how we can do it.

For me communication is really key to any relationship I mean if we even look at this ourselves how we communicate with ourselves right that really.

It just completely transforms how we think about ourselves if we look at the communication and then communications with others so often we think we know what the other people what the other person is meaning and we don't stay curious.

And we just automatically assume that this is what they're saying and then we get hurt feelings get involved we close we close off and then if you actually stay curious and ask hey what did you mean there.

You find out that maybe it was something completely different and it actually brought you much closer together than pushing you apart.

Staying curious is such a valuable approach because I feel like personally it helps me avoid reacting you know instead it allows me to respond better if I can be like if someone says something that if I'm not curious I'm just immediately responding or defending myself instead of like you said like well what do you mean by that asking a question just doing that can be so valuable in improving communication.

Completely and often when we have understood something it could have triggered something in us you know we've all a lot of us have had traumatic experiences something that happened too soon too quick for the mind and body to process.

So we might be in a trigger so what I keep telling my piece is like okay if you realize that you're actually something is getting triggered in you and just take a breath and you might need to just say hey I'm noticing I need to take a breath for a moment I need to just kind of like there's some contraction happening in my body I'm not quite sure what happened but I'm feeling a bit triggered so I'm going to just.

Just excuse myself from the conversation just for a moment I'll be here with you but energetic I'm just going to take care of me and then you can come back and kind of like work in your breathing though just what's happening in your body perhaps I think what the thought is and then get rid of that content that trigger and it's like oh okay I noticed this brought this up in me what did you mean with that because I'm sure I'm sure I might be reacting in a way.

That might not have been your intentions so can I ask you a bit more.

I want to emphasize what you just said of just taking a breath and literally saying to your partner hey I'm feeling a bit triggered I need a moment I mean that alone can also be so valuable is taking time away from the conversation I think we think of communication as active right like what we need to say how we need to say it and obviously there's a lot of important things there but I found it's almost the absolute.

The absence of communication within a conversation that can be so valuable of feeling triggered to say hey communicating that's my partner I need I just need a second taking some breaths taking a walk can be super valuable telling your partner hey can we come back to this in five minutes 10 minutes or maybe it's later in the day yeah tomorrow that is also such a valuable tool.

Completely and just what you were pointing to the coming back to a conversation it's yeah often the point is really what do we want to achieve with conversation right what we want to make a communication we want to be understood we want to be loved we want to be cherished but most of all we want to be understood and it doesn't mean that the other person has to agree with us and they can have their triggers they can have their responses

and the beauty is to really start fact-tracking this in and sometimes all you can say to a communication is thank you it's like okay thank you I've received your communication and that's it and then often your partner will look at you as like aren't you going to go into it and I'm like no I've received your communication but that's all I have bandwidth for

and this is what I know to say often in couples that one person will come say the say the wife will come to the husband and just he's on his computer working and she just goes and vets and what I've been teaching my clients is like hey go to your you know if that's what you need you need to vent you need to just let off some steam go to your partner and say hey do you have bandwidth for this do you have attention for this because we all want attention like I need to vent for about seven minutes

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