369: What if you lit yourself on fire?
This Is Actually Happening
Wondery
4.6 • 9.9K Ratings
🗓️ 1 July 2025
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Suffering a life of struggle and addiction in the wake of early childhood abuse, a woman desperate for a dramatic change dowses herself in gasoline and strikes a lighter.
Today’s episode featured Crystal Raye. Please find her contact and socials in her link tree here: https://linktr.ee/crhmedia. There, she also includes several links to Burn Survivor Resources and support.
Find Crystal on Instagram @theburnedthebrokenthebeautiful and on TikTok @crystalraye111
A special thanks to Daniel Hearn of Hard Knox Talks Podcast for referring Crystal to us. You can find him here: https://linktr.ee/hardknoxtalks. Daniel has also been a storyteller on This Is Actually Happening, please listen to his episode #350.
Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits,
Content/Trigger Warnings: childhood sexual abuse, drug use and addiction, self-immolation, severe burn injury, attempted suicide, explicit language
Social Media:
Instagram: @actuallyhappening
Twitter: @TIAHPodcast
Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com
Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com
Website for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com
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Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez
Music Bed: Uncertain Outcomes
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to exclusive episodes of This Is Actually Happening by joining |
| 0:05.7 | Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. |
| 0:14.7 | I wanted something to change, and I didn't know how to change anything. I wanted something to change and I didn't know how to change anything. |
| 0:23.6 | I wanted out of the mental anguish I was dealing with every day and I didn't want to be living the life that I was living anymore. |
| 0:33.6 | From the life From Wondery, I'm Whit Misseldine. |
| 0:43.6 | You're listening to This Is Actually Happening. |
| 0:51.2 | Episode 369. |
| 0:57.0 | What if you lit yourself on fire? Discover, rate and never miss a beat with the free IMDB app. Curate your watch list, get |
| 1:13.6 | personalized notifications, and find your next must-watch show or movie. Whether you're catching up on a |
| 1:18.7 | series solo or planning a family movie night, IMDB is your ultimate entertainment companion. Download |
| 1:24.6 | the app now and find your next favorite. |
| 1:32.0 | Hey, I'm Cassie Depeckel, host of Wonderry's podcast Against the Odds. In our new season, |
| 1:37.3 | it's August 3rd, 1991. A cruise ship sails into a brutal storm off South Africa's wild coast and soon starts flooding. But with no leadership in sight, the ship's entertainers take charge, |
| 1:41.7 | leading a desperate evacuation before Oceanos sinks. |
| 1:44.5 | Listen to Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 2:06.3 | My mother and my father met in Alaska. |
| 2:11.6 | She was around 16, I believe, and he was, I want to say 19. |
| 2:14.3 | They were young and in love. |
| 2:18.4 | They ended up moving to California with my grandparents. |
| 2:24.3 | My dad was a heavy equipment operator in Los Angeles, where they lived. |
| 2:26.5 | It was like a whole new change for them. |
| 2:30.1 | But they struggled with substance abuse. |
... |
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