0:00.0	This is a headgum podcast.
0:06.1	The doctor was the mother.
0:09.0	He stood on a block of ice.
0:11.6	Both of the network of fish.
0:14.1	It was the cabin of an airplane.
0:17.2	He stabbed him with an ice cream.
0:19.7	And the horse of being Friday.
0:37.0	All right, everybody, pay attention.
0:39.2	Shuffle in, shuffle in.
0:40.4	Find your seats, find your seats.
0:42.2	Obviously, I am not your regular teacher.
0:46.0	I am not your regular teacher in a disguise.
0:48.4	This is a real mustache.
0:50.0	Why say that?
0:51.8	I've had a lot of people pull the mustache.
1:48.3	So I'm just trying to get ahead of it this time and say, don't pull the mustache. It's a real, it's a real mustache. I'm not your regular teacher. Okay. Does anyone know what we were covering in class? They didn't leave me. I'm a substitute. You know, I'm contracted by the school. Normally I get like a sheet with what we're supposed to be covering today. You look a lot like our regular teacher. And I'm overwhelmed with an urge to pull the mustache, especially since you said not to. Yeah. You're probably going to do it. What if I pull it and I promise you I'll pull it regular and it's not okay. You can't trust you. It's like a magician checking his own deck of card. It's also kind of a tactile thing for me. Okay, let's see. Who's the weakest kid in class? Let's get the weakest kid in class can pull the mustache one time. Why are you staring at me the whole time you're asking who's the weakest kid? You look like the smartest kid and the one that would tell the most truth. Yeah, I got stuck in one of those flotation tanks.
1:49.1	What are those called?
1:51.7	Sleep deprivation water.
1:53.1	Sensory deprivation.
1:55.3	Seed not that smart. I got stuck in one of those for a couple years, my whole body.
1:59.0	The kid who got tortured can come up and pull my mustache.
2:01.4	He's the only one. Are you sure you're not our teacher? Because yesterday you kind of humiliated yourself in front of the whole class. Or our teacher did. And it would make sense. He did humiliating himself. How do you know? I'm just a empathetic person. I wouldn't call anything humiliating. You don't think there's such a thing it's humiliating.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 8 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Headgum, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Headgum and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.