Hey pals, I'm gonna be the Denver Comedy Works January 23rd to the 26th come see me.

Also I'm gonna be at the Arlington Draft House and the Bell House and New York City,

all the links to get tickets are at ducatrustle.com. Greetings to you,

O beautiful citizens of planet earth and welcome to the year of the rat.

And if you're a superstitious person, you might be thinking, fuck that. Rats are disgusting.

They're covered in disease, they're a little claws or usually festering with strange

as of yet undiscovered bacteria. And if you get so unlucky is to have one of them claw your nips,

then your nipples will decay and char, fester fall off and spray,

yellowy blasts of pink smattered knit jam all over your bathroom mirror as you begin to scream,

thinking, my god, why did I blette one of those rats crawling my chest? Or maybe you're one of

those people out there believes that where there is rat sliting will soon strike, or maybe you're

one of those people out there who had one of your tiny little dogs carried away by rats down into

the sewers where the dogs were sacrificed to the god of rats. I understand some of us have had

rough run-ins with rats, but personally from a distance rats hold a warm place in my heart,

not because I like rats, not because I wear black lipstick and put leather on and put white

powder all over my face and jingle around and leather jingling gimp suits at weird parties throughout

LA. I would never wear a gimp suit. The reason is because I love Ganesh, the Hindu deity,

and Ganesh for those of you who aren't familiar with the Hindu pantheon is the elephant-headed god,

son of Shiva. Very interesting, weird story about how that elephant head ended up on the human body,

Ganesh brings us good fortune. Another name for Ganesh is Ghanapati. Ganesh is considered the

remover of obstacles. Many people take Ganesh as their deity because they look upon Ganesh as

sort of a deity that brings you opulence, wealth, a great family, and all the things that you deserve

...