364: Darcy Lockman: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2019

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Darcy Lockman is a journalist turned clinical psychologist and the author of All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership (Harper Collins). Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and the Washington Post, among others. Her first book, Brooklyn Zoo, chronicled the year she spent working on the psychiatric ward of a city hospital. She currently practices in New York City, where she lives with her husband and daughters. I have invested a lot of time learning about building equitable relationships in the last year. As someone who likes to take on all. the. things., I know what it’s like to be the doer and the know-er and the gatekeeper of everything in the family. It’s an exhausting, unfair, and unnecessary burden that we can improve - drastically. I couldn’t be more excited to invite you into this conversation with Darcy and me. Listen in to hear Darcy share: What “good” dads get away with Societal, multi-generational indoctrination of gender roles - even among progressive couples The truth about maternal gatekeeping and the potential damage around it The power of using your anger in adaptive ways to have a more equitable relationship The research-proven struggles and burdens of the mental load of motherhood, especially in the first 4 years Strategies to build a more equitable partnership with your partner Links mentioned: Connect with Darcy Book: All The Rage Twitter: @darcy_lockman Thank you to our sponsors: BruMate: Right now, Brumate is giving my/our listeners a special discount of 15% off your first order when you go to www.brumate.com and use our code SHAMELESS, that's BruMate. Honey: Get Honey for FREE at Honey. Openfit: Join the Openfit 30-day challenge and get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to Openfit when you text SHAMELESS to 303030. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the Shameless Mom Academy episode 364. Show notes for this episode, including any links
0:05.9	mentioned in the episode, as well as any discount codes from our sponsors, can be found by going
0:09.9	to shamelessmom.com and clicking on episode 364.
0:19.1	Welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy. I'm your host, Sarah Dean. I'm here to give you and other
0:24.6	passionate, driven, unapologetic moms, tools, resources, and a little bit of humor to help you lead
0:30.7	more positive, powerful, and purposeful lives every damn day. One of the best things about the
0:36.1	Shandless Mom Academy is our community. So be sure
0:38.4	to join us in our free private Facebook group to connect with other shameless moms just like you.
0:43.6	You can find us over at shamelessom.com forward slash Facebook. All right, let's dive into today's
0:50.1	episode.
1:00.3	Darcy Lockman is a journalist turned clinical psychologist and the author of All the Rage, Mothers and Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership.
1:04.5	Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and the Washington Post, among others.
1:08.6	Her first book, Brooklyn Zoo, chronicled the year she spent
1:11.8	working on the psychiatric ward of a city hospital. She currently practices in New York City,
1:16.4	where she lives with her husband and daughters. I've invested a lot of time in the recent months
1:20.7	learning about building equitable relationships. As someone who likes to take on all the things,
1:26.2	I know what it's like to be the doer and the knower and the gatekeeper of everything in the family.
1:30.3	It's super exhausting and feels really unfair and often feels like an unnecessary burden that we could maybe improve drastically, but I don't always feel like women have the tools to do this.
1:41.4	And so I was really excited to have Darcy come in and talk about equitable relationships because I feel like this is something that's coming more and more
1:47.7	to the forefront, very necessarily so. Like it is so beyond time. And I feel like we have a knowledge around
1:53.8	we want things to be more equitable, but we don't always know how to approach that. And we don't
1:58.5	necessarily know how to let go being the gatekeeper
	...

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