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Apocrypals

36: GRAZACHAM! (The Life of St. Patrick)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9650 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2019

⏱️ 95 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Top o' the mornin' to ye, Theophiloi! In honor of his verdant feast day, we're taking a look at the life of Saint Patrick! Witness as he comes out of his cage and does just fine bringing Christianity to the pagan isle of Ireland. You will erhaps be shocked by the fact that there are zero (0) mentions of snakes or shamrocks, but we do have the return of all of our favorite Bible traditions: explosions, wizard battles, were-foxes, all that stuff. Plus: one of us might be immortal now?

Topics of discussion: Lent, M. O'ses, Succet, the most buck wild book of the Bible to recite in its entirety every single day, Victor/Victoricus, a proclamation from Benito (and yes he knows they're Scottish), the proper number of times to invoke Elijah, truly harrowing birthday celebrations, Miliucc with two Cs, St. Bofa of Haenuces, dope AF (ad fidum), St. Patrick's actual Dungeons & Dragons spellbook, a hole in the ground for unbaptized babies.

Hymnal: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Transcript

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0:00.0

When all this happens, the druids would say, our kingdom, which is a pagan one, will fall.

0:05.6

And so it happened afterwards.

0:07.3

When Patrick came, the worship of idols was abolished, and the Catholic Christian faith spread

0:11.5

over our whole country.

0:12.8

Enough of this.

0:13.6

Let us return to our subject.

0:15.9

Jealousy, turning saints into the scene Swimming through sick love eyes

0:23.2

Joking on your alibals

0:26.5

But it's just a price I paid

0:29.6

Destiny is calling me

0:32.8

Open up and my

0:34.5

Hello everybody and welcome to Apocrypal's

0:36.3

It's the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible and we turn to be jerks about it.

0:41.9

And we are your humble hosts, the Sons of Thunder.

0:45.5

My name is Chris Sims.

0:46.5

With me as always is Benito Serrino.

0:48.4

Benito, how are you today?

0:50.4

Pretty good.

0:50.9

I'm a little under the weather, so people might notice my voice being a little froggy or perhaps

0:55.9

than usual.

0:57.6

But actually pretty good because the heat is finally back on in my house after three days

1:04.0

of being out because of a carbon monoxide leak.

...

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