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This Is Actually Happening

354: A World Beyond Revenge: What if your son was killed by a distracted driver?

This Is Actually Happening

Wondery

True Crime, Tiah, Documentary, Society & Culture

4.69.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2025

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A turbulent father-son relationship shatters completely when the son is killed by a distracted driver, and the father is left to confront his own profound guilt and the man who caused his son's needless death.

This episode is the fourth in our five part series, “A World Beyond Revenge” featuring five powerful stories of people on both sides of tragic incidents of unimaginable harm who found healing through the groundbreaking process of Restorative Justice. 

 

Today’s episode featured Andy O’Dell. You can email Andy at [email protected]


Andy is from Greater Manchester. Since his Restorative Justice meeting, Andy has been a passionate advocate against distracted driving alongside his wife Chelle. They are actively looking for projects to help spread awareness of Restorative Justice and safer driving in the North West of England. Some helpful links behind his cause: 

https://why-me.org/ https://www.brake.org.uk/ https://www.nwairambulance.org.uk/



Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Forrest Chiras

 

Content/Trigger Warnings: child behavior challenges, distracted driving, fatal vehicle accident, child death, feelings of hate and revenge, divorce, domestic violence, explicit language



Thank you to our series collaborators, Why Me? & Yoana Tchoukleva: 

Why Me? are a national charity in the UK, promoting access to Restorative Justice for people affected by crime or conflict. They also support people who have been through the Restorative Justice process to share their stories. If you want to find out more about Restorative Justice, visit their website www.why-me.org. If you want help accessing Restorative Justice in the UK, you can contact them via [email protected]


LinkedIn: Why me? UK

Instagram: @whymeuk

Facebook: @WhymeUK

Threads: @whymeuk

Bluesky: @whymeuk.bsky.social


Yoana Tchoukleva is an attorney, RJ practitioner, & lecturer at Berkeley Law. She is also a Senior Program Manager at Impact Justice. You can email her at [email protected]. You can reach out to her on Instagram @yoana.tch and on Facebook @""Yoana Tchoukleva"", and on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/ioanatchoukleva/. Please consider donating to Atunse Justice League.  



LINK TO OUR LISTENER SURVEY! 

We’ve come up with a short audience survey, which you can find linked in our show notes and in the bio of our Instagram page @actuallyhappening. We’d love to hear your opinions and feedback, and we’d really appreciate your point of view. Link below:


https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfxV-6qeNAOuIAbBnuSJpoyqE3tlvusxb069dZCUC1RWeLfEg/viewform


 

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

 

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

 

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Contacts for Forrest Chiras: On Instagram & Spotify @Stegoforrest

 

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

 

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

 

Intro Music: ""Illabye"" – Tipper

Music Bed: Uncertain Outcomes

 

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

 

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)


Be the first to know about Wondery’s newest podcasts, curated recommendations, and more! Sign up now at https://wondery.fm/wonderynewsletter


Listen to exclusive episodes of This is Actually Happening ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/this-is-actually-happening/ now.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to exclusive episodes of This Is Actually Happening

0:05.0

by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

0:09.6

This Is Actually Happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events.

0:13.9

Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode

0:17.0

and for more information about support services.

0:27.1

Hi listeners.

0:32.8

Today, we continue our five-part mini-series, A World Beyond Revenge, which features five stories of people who have been on both sides of violent and tragic incidents of harm,

0:37.1

and have found a new

0:38.0

path to healing through the groundbreaking process of restorative justice. We've heard some

0:42.5

incredible, impactful stories in this series, and last week was no exception, with Troy's

0:47.3

powerful transformation from a violent youth to a force for positive change. If you haven't

0:52.3

already, I highly recommend listening to his episode and the

0:55.2

others we've featured so far. Today, we bring you the fourth story in our series that comes to us

1:00.0

from the UK. Many thanks to the restorative justice non-profit, why me UK, who brought us Andy's

1:06.3

deeply moving story. And now from UK storyteller, Andy O'Dell, what if your son was killed by a distracted

1:13.3

driver? It was just, he was like putting a knife through me out. Total devastation. It was very

1:23.8

angry. I wanted to rip him to pieces. And I'm not a violent person, but I wanted it.

1:29.9

I wanted it so bad. I wanted to make him hurt like he'd made my joe hurt.

1:43.5

From Wondery, I'm Whit Misseldine.

1:47.0

You are listening to This Is Actually Happening.

1:56.6

Episode 354.

1:59.5

A World Beyond Revenge.

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