#349: Is This a Date or Not? The Problem With Ambiguity in Relationships

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 19 October 2017

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dating has never been more ambiguous than it is today. People sort of end up with each other without explicitly defining the nature of their relationship, level of commitment, or expectations for the future. What begins as hanging out, slides into spending the night, which slides into moving in together, and can even sometimes slide into marriage. While keeping your romantic relationships ambiguous may seem to make them safer and less complicated, my guest today has conducted research that shows that's not necessarily the case. His name is Scott Stanley, he’s an author and professor of psychology at the University of Denver, and he specializes in studying commitment, co-habitating, and marriage. Today on the show, Scott explains why dating has gotten more ambiguous during the past 20 years and why that has led people to slide into relationships instead of explicitly deciding and committing to them. He then highlights research that shows that, contrary to popular belief, co-habitating before marriage actually increases the chances of divorce when you do decide to get married and how living with someone makes it harder to break up with them, even when you realize you should. We then get into what men can do to make dating less ambiguous and more decisive, and how being upfront about your intentions with women will make you more attractive, reduce drama down the road, and put you in a better position for a happy and fulfilling marriage. Scott then shares what you should do if you feel like you’ve slid into your relationship and what married couples can do to strengthen their marriage. Whether you’re dating, thinking about getting married, or already hitched, this podcast is crammed with research-backed advice on how to have better relationships.

Transcript

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0:00.0	[♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
0:15.0	Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:18.3	Dating has never been more ambiguous than it is today.
0:21.2	People sort of end up with each other without explicitly defining the nature of the relationship,
0:25.1	level of commitment or expectations for the future.
0:27.8	It begins as hanging out, slides into spending the night, which slides into moving in together.
0:31.8	While keeping romantic relationships ambiguous may seem to make them safer and less complicated,
0:36.2	my guest today has conducted research that shows that's not necessarily the case.
0:39.4	His name is Scott Stanley, he's a professor of psychology at the University of Denver,
0:42.6	and he specializes in setting commitment, cohabitation, and marriage.
0:45.8	Today on the show, Scott explains why dating has gotten more ambiguous in the past 20 years,
0:49.6	and why that has led to people to slide into relationships instead of explicitly deciding and committing to them.
0:54.7	He then highlights research that shows that contrary to popular belief,
0:57.6	cohabitating before marriage actually increases the chances of divorce when you do decide to get married,
1:02.4	and how living with someone makes it harder to break up with them, even when you realize you should break up with them.
1:07.0	We then get into what men can do to make dating less ambiguous and more decisive,
1:10.6	and how being upfront about your intentions with women will make you more attractive,
1:14.2	reduce drama down the road, and put you in a better position for a happy and fulfilling marriage.
1:18.5	He then shares what you should do if you feel like you've slid into a relationship,
1:21.4	and what married couples can do to strengthen their marriage now.
1:24.4	Whether you're dating, thinking about getting married or already hitched,
1:27.0	this podcast is crammed with research-backed advice on how to have better relationships.
	...

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