3481: How to Find Belonging (Either Beautifully or Violently) by Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Finding True Connection

Optimal Living Daily - Personal Development and Self-Improvement

Optimal Living Daily LLC

Education, Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 3.2K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2025

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3481: Finding belonging is a lifelong pursuit, and Dr. Kelly Flanagan explores two very different paths to it. Some seek connection through aggression and conformity, while others embrace vulnerability, allowing rejection to refine their circles of belonging. Through powerful stories including one from motivational speaker Nick Santonastasso this piece challenges us to choose authenticity over approval, faith over fear, and true connection over performative acceptance. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drkellyflanagan.com/how-to-find-belonging-either-beautifully-or-violently/ Quotes to ponder: "Who do you become in order to attract companionship? What do you do in order to keep your companionship?" "The other way is to show up as you actually are, with all your countless imperfections and inabilities and insecurities just laid bare, vulnerable, and alone and to allow the rejecting of you to become the thing that purifies your circles of belonging." "As your sense of belonging grows, your faith in everything else does, too." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode is brought to you by Sun Express Airlines.
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0:33.4	belonging, either beautifully or violently. By Dr. Kelly Flanagan of Dr. Kellyflanagan.com, and I'm
0:41.0	Justa Mollick. Welcome back to a Sunday bonus episode where I give you a little bit of extra content
0:46.1	from a podcast in our network. They think we'll also help you live a life that's a bit more
0:50.2	happier and meaningful, and today's episode comes from optimal relationships daily.
0:56.3	So here's Greg with another post as we optimize your life.
1:04.1	How to Find Belonging, either beautifully or violently, by Dr. Kelly Flanagan of Dr. Kelly Flanagan.com.
1:12.8	We're watching security footage. The image shows a parking lot sprawled out in front of our car.
1:19.0	Several dots in the distance gradually materialize into three kids walking toward the camera.
1:24.5	As they draw closer, their age becomes clear. They're in the no-man's land of
1:28.8	identity that is late middle school or early high school. As they approach our car, talking and
1:34.6	laughing, one kid points at our front bumper, walks towards it, and gives it a vicious kick
1:40.0	before they walk on and pass out of camera view. My wife, forgetting for a moment what it was like to be that age, asks rhetorically,
1:48.9	why would a kid do something like that?
1:51.3	My daughter, who is just a little younger than those boys and keenly aware of what it's like
1:55.8	to be a tweenager, is standing behind us.
1:58.9	Over my shoulder, I can hear her whispered response to my wife's question,
	...

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