348: How to Get What You Want

The Connected Life

Justin Stumvoll

Mental Health, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Christianity

4.9 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most relationship conflict isn’t about the issue at hand—it’s about whose anxiety gets cared for. Whether it’s parenting, money, cleaning, or how often you see friends, couples often end up in a tug-of-war, each fighting for relief. But what if the goal wasn’t winning… but finding a third option where you both get what you need?

In this episode, Justin and Abi dive deep into the art of healthy negotiation. They unpack why so many of us default to passivity, demands, or self-abandonment—and how childhood experiences shape the way we advocate for our wants and needs. Through real-life stories and playful banter, they offer practical ways to replace power struggles with curiosity, co-creation, and emotional win-wins.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood in your relationship, or unsure how to get your needs met without conflict—this episode will give you language, hope, and a way forward.

You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife

Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Life isn't perfect, and neither are we.
0:05.0	No, but we know how to face our fears and have some fun.
0:10.0	And talk about all the messiest things of life.
0:13.0	Like the messiest things.
0:15.0	Get connected to yourself, get connected to others, and get connected to the life right in front of you.
0:21.6	This is the connected life with Justin and Abby.
0:24.7	That's me.
0:25.5	That's you.
0:26.6	And you.
0:28.0	Do you remember that one time recently where I was right and you were wrong?
0:33.4	I don't even know what you're talking about.
0:34.5	Undeniably.
0:35.3	Why are you bringing that up?
0:37.0	It's not possible. There's never been a time in this marriage you've're talking about. Undeniably. Why are you bringing that up? It's not possible.
0:38.2	There's never been a time in this marriage you've ever been right.
0:41.2	Undeniably, at least.
0:42.2	I want to recall when we sat down to record this podcast a week ago.
0:48.4	And I said, what do you think the odds are that we will get into a conflict while recording this podcast. Do you remember what you
0:55.7	said? Uh, what? Huh? You said absolutely not. I can't hear you. Absolutely not. I can't hear you
1:03.2	over the sound of me being right. The odds are zero. And we didn't. Look, we're here.
1:08.7	Okay. Maybe we're re-recording it because maybe Abby made things difficult.
1:20.5	That is not what happened.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Justin Stumvoll, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Justin Stumvoll and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.