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The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

347: Replay: How Self Validation can change your life

The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Michelle Chalfant

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.

Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.

Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It's not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.

In this episode, I'm sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!

Listen to discover:

  • What self-validation is and why it's important
  • The connection between self-validation and self-worth
  • What self-validation looks like in real life
  • Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
  • The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging

No one can make us feel or believe something we don't believe about ourselves. So, if we don't have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It's an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up.

That's why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.

"Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is when we notice what we're doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self." - Michelle Chalfant

"When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive." - Michelle Chalfant

"It's your job to share with others what you need." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1!

https://theadultchair.com/journal

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com 

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, I'm Michelle Shelfand, psychotherapist, holistic life coach, and human just like you,

0:09.4

learning to navigate life challenges.

0:11.8

With over 25 years experience, I teach people how to get healthy using the adult chair model.

0:17.6

The adult chair model is where simple psychology meets grounded spirituality, and it teaches

0:23.0

us how to become healthy adults.

0:26.2

From anxiety and depression to codependency and relationship issues, you can use the

0:30.5

adult chair for just about anything.

0:33.8

Each week, I share practical tips, tools and advice from myself and a wide range of experts

0:40.0

on how to get unstuck, how to live authentically, and how to truly love yourself, all while

0:45.8

sitting in your adult chair.

0:48.9

Welcome to the adult chair podcast.

0:51.7

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the adult chair.

0:55.1

The last adult chair podcast of 2022, we're almost there, we're on the cusp of the new year.

1:03.8

Are you guys ready?

1:05.4

We thought about, you know, every year I do a burning ceremony right around New Year's

1:09.8

New Year's Eve, usually.

1:11.4

So think about, what are you letting go of for this year?

1:14.5

What are you not bringing into 2023, right?

1:18.3

There's a lot of energy going on right now on the planet.

1:20.5

So get ready to release the old and step into the new and just really two and a half days,

1:27.8

two days away from now, not really a half, I guess it's just two days away.

1:31.6

Anyway, so today we're talking about self validation.

...

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