345: How to Succeed with People: Leadership & Charisma
Age Less / Live More
Lucas Rockwood
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 7 February 2019
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Group dynamics fascinate me. Why does one person take on the leadership role almost immediately without any need for introduction or approval? How did that one person decide he was the joker? And why is there always someone lurking in the back, avoiding eye contact and trying to be invisible?
I’ve been hosting training courses for 13 years now, and I’ve seen time and time again how we all tend to assume different social roles in group settings with enough people. It’s not always consistent or predictable but these patterns almost always emerge. Why?
On this week’s podcast, you’ll meet a behavioral researcher who has uncovered some powerful truths about human behavior that can help you be more effective in all your social interactions both personal and professional. We cover body language, topics of conversation, and so much more.
You’ll Learn:
- Why negative talk can leave a negative impression on you as a person
- How to gush, not gossip, to uplift and influence others around you
- Eye contact vs. no eye contact: finding the balance
- What to do with your hands when you talk
Links & Resources:
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral investigator. She runs a human behavior research lab called the Science of People. She's been featured on CNN, Fast Company, and Forbes. She also writes a monthly column for Entrepreneur Magazine and The Huffington Post. Her innovative work has been featured on NPR, Business Week, and USA Today.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | For the past 12 or 13 years I've been producing yoga courses in about five different countries |
| 0:08.7 | now mostly in Spain but I've done them all around the world and there's a couple of |
| 0:12.3 | interesting things that I've noticed |
| 0:13.6 | nothing to do with yoga at all it's all about group dynamics what I've found is that once you |
| 0:17.9 | get over 20 people there's a certain dynamic over 30 people a different dynamic |
| 0:22.0 | and on the rare occasions I've had 40 plus 50 dynamic over 30 people, a different dynamic. |
| 0:22.7 | And on the rare occasions I've had 40 plus, 50 plus, |
| 0:25.3 | one time even 60 plus. |
| 0:27.1 | The dynamics are so, so pronounced. |
| 0:29.8 | And what I mean by that is you walk into a room |
| 0:32.2 | and within five minutes of arrival, has taken on a leadership role, |
| 0:35.9 | someone has taken on the role of class clown of the Joker, someone inevitably is hiding in the corner trying to be invisible, someone is |
| 0:45.0 | asking questions to make sure that they're hurt, kind of a teacher's pet role. |
| 0:48.0 | What's interesting is that the roles we assume in different scenarios are not always the same. |
| 0:52.0 | So in many settings I might be a |
| 0:55.2 | quiet one in some settings I might be a leader in some settings I might be that guy hiding in |
| 0:59.3 | the corner trying to be invisible and you're probably that way too it's really interesting to think |
| 1:03.5 | about how we behave socially how we interact socially for the most part all of these |
| 1:07.7 | things are just natural tendencies and it's curious to see but what happens when it? What happens when you're meeting someone who might |
| 1:14.5 | be a significant other? What happens when you're on an important job interview? What happens |
| 1:19.3 | when you're having a life-changing conversation, which probably all of us have once or twice a year |
| 1:24.8 | some big conversation with an employer or an employee or a colleague or a significant other or a |
... |
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