#339: We’re Afraid to Die, Because We’re Afraid to Live with Koshin Paley Ellison

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 January 2024

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

#339: We’re Afraid to Die, Because We’re Afraid to Live with Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison In this episode, I welcome Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison to the show. We discuss the fear of confronting mortality and the aversion to facing death, letting go of our sh*t and facing our fears, and how to embrace the present moment. This is an episode you won’t want to miss that will help ground you into the new year and reorient you to the joy of living. Koshin Paley Ellison (MFA, LMSW, DMIN, NYZC Co-Founder, President, & Guiding Teacher) is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, leader in contemplative care, and co-founder of an educational non-profit called the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. His books, grounded in Buddhist wisdom and practice, have gained national attention. Through its numerous educational programs, contemplative retreats, and Soto Zen Buddhist practices, the New York Zen Center touches thousands of lives every year. Koshin has appeared on dozens of podcasts and his work has been featured in the New York Times, PBS, CBS Sunday Morning and other media outlets. — Instagram @koshinpaleyellison @newyorkzencenter : https://www.instagram.com/koshinpaleyellison https://www.instagram.com/newyorkzencenter — New York Zen Center Website: https://zencare.org — NYZC Contemplative Medicine Fellowship: https://zencare.org/contemplative-medicine-fellowship — NYZC Foundations in Contemplative Care https://zencare.org/foundations — Koshin’s Book: Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion: https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-Walking-Eightfold-Clarity-Compassion-ebook/dp/B09TZY26J3 If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: Authenticity, Belonging, Humanity, Spirituality, Self-Worth, Transformation, Mental Health, Purpose, Grief, Death, Aging, Living, Life 0:00:00 Intro 0:01:47 Confronting Mortality and our Aversion to Facing Death 0:04:20 Appreciating the Awareness of Mortality and Embracing Life 0:08:58 Embracing the Inevitability of Death 0:11:56 Confronting Fear and Assessing a Fear-Based Life 0:13:19 The Importance of True Reflection and Conscious Untapped Potential 0:16:08 Letting Go of Patterns and Facing Our Fears 0:19:56 Trauma Response and Identity 0:23:36 Finding Joy and Levity in Life 0:32:58 Embracing the Present Moment 0:34:30 Embracing Feedback and Changing Perspective on Commitment 0:38:13 Embracing the Challenge of Loving Difficult People 0:41:13 Layers of Pain and Betrayal 0:43:52 Opening up to painful self-discovery 0:46:27 Feeling grounded and ready for self-exploration 0:49:20 Developing the courage to untangle and seek help 0:49:37 Searching for Inspiration and Direction 0:52:20 Embracing Dissolution and Self-Limiting Ideas This episode is sponsored by Open: Get 30 days free with code CREATETHELOVE AT https://withopen.com/createthelove Contact us at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Gross podcast.
0:07.0	Today I am joined by Cotian Paley Ellison.
0:12.5	You're a sensei, which I hadn't heard the term sense since like crot a kid.
0:17.5	So I'm so, I was so excited to use that word. You're so, you're many things. And you're also an
0:25.1	author as Zen teacher, a young and psychotherapist, a certified chaplaincy educator. And after many
0:31.4	years as a chaplain and psychotherapist, Coach and Coch and co-founded the New York Center for
0:36.8	contemplative Care,
0:38.3	which offers contemplative approaches to care through education, personal caregiving, and Zen practice.
0:44.1	Today, New York's Zen Center's methodologies are internationally recognized
0:48.3	and have touched the lives of tens of thousands of individuals.
0:52.6	Koshin is a world-renowned thought leader in contemplative care.
0:56.1	He's also the author of the book, Untangled, Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage,
1:00.9	and Compassion, and also the book, Wholehearted, Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up, and the co-editor
1:07.7	of Awake at the Bedside, Contemplative Teaching on Palliative and End of Life Care.
1:13.1	His work has been featured in the New York Times, PBS, CBS, CBS Sunday morning, and many other publications.
1:21.2	Cochin is such an honor to have you here today.
1:24.1	Really a treat to be with you, Mark.
1:32.7	I'm curious. The line i know is in your book and i've heard you speak about it a few times about death and and the line is all the time i work with dying people
1:40.1	only a few know they are dying.
1:50.6	And I was really touched by that line because I think there was, you know, a recognition to myself that the confrontation of mortality is both liberating and confronting.
1:57.9	And I was curious, can you maybe explain that statement more and our aversion to
2:05.1	facing death? Sure. Well, I can just tell you my thoughts. You know, very often, you know,
	...

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