339: Navigating Narcissism and High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Sarah Kamoto
The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
Michelle Chalfant
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2022
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Realizing your partner is a narcissist or emotionally abusive and making the decision to leave can be one of the most liberating experiences of your life. But what if you're forever tied to this person because of a child you share together? What if you can take yourself out of the relationship but can't take the narcissist out of your life?
Co-parenting with a highly toxic or abusive person adds a whole new dynamic to parenting and divorce. Your child needs more support than ever — and so do you as you heal. You not only have to figure out how to move forward, but you also have to learn how to handle high-conflict interactions with your ex without letting it drag you back into the old patterns that harmed you.
Sarah Kamoto is a coach who specializes in helping people co-parent through high-conflict situations. After leaving the narcissistic father of her young child, she has walked this path and navigated everything from how to help your child process the unhealthy dynamics they're witnessing at the toxic parent's house to what to do when your ex tries to turn your child against you.
In this episode, we dig deep into narcissistic relationships — the signs of a narcissistic relationship, why we experience grief when leaving, dating after leaving and so many questions I get asked about narcissism — plus how to thrive even when you have a high-conflict ex to contend with.
Listen to discover:
- Common signs that you're in an emotionally abusive relationship
- The dynamics between narcissists and their adult children
- The process of grief when recognizing and leaving a narcissist
- Why it's counterproductive to confront a narcissist
- The difficulties of co-parenting with a toxic ex & how to navigate them
- Helping your children become emotionally healthy even with a toxic parent
- How to respond when your ex tries to turn your kids against you
- Scripts for talking to your children about divorce without pitting them against your ex
Everyone deserves to have a beautiful life. You weren't put here to experience abuse or have your sense of self eroded.
You, your children and your entire family can thrive after a narcissistic relationship, but it all starts within. It starts with you doing your work so you can model something different for your children and take the higher path even when your ex tries to tear you down.
I hope this episode gives you new tools for growing your self-worth and practical ideas for navigating complex co-parenting situations.
"They basically try to destroy who you are as a person." - Sarah Kamoto
"They don't ever take responsibility, and they blame you for everything." - Michelle Chalfant
"It's a slow erosion." - Sarah Kamoto
"I realized that I couldn't have had self-love if I allowed someone to treat me in this way without setting my own boundaries." - Sarah Kamoto
"I don't think emotionally healthy people end up in these relationships. You only become emotionally healthy when you've been forced to do this work." - Sarah Kamoto
"Isn't the fact that you want more and deserve more enough?" - Sarah Kamoto
"It's a lot easier just to switch victims and move on to somebody else than to actually go and do the inner healing work." - Sarah Kamoto
"I think anything is possible. And for me it boils down to, 'How aware are you?'" - Michelle Chalfant
"Life is too short. I want to live a beautiful life. Everyone deserves to live a beautiful life. We were not put on this earth to be treated in this way and downtrodden and abused." - Sarah Kamoto
"Not all people with narcissistic traits are abusive." - Sarah Kamoto
"You're trying to parent and you're trying to heal and you're trying to co-parent with somebody who is high conflict." - Sarah Kamoto
"You need to differentiate who you are from who the other parent is." - Sarah Kamoto
LINKS & RESOURCES
Sarah Kamoto Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/narc_proof_and_thriving/
Sarah Kamoto Website
https://narcproofandthriving.com/
2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now!
https://theadultchair.com/certification
Tanasi
Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | if there's something that I put top of my priority list every single day, it would be sleep. |
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| 1:41.5 | Hi, I'm Michelle Shelfon, psychotherapist, holistic life coach, and human just like you, |
| 1:47.4 | learning to navigate life challenges. With over 25 years experience, I teach people how to get |
| 1:53.1 | healthy using the adult chair model. The adult chair model is where simple psychology meets grounded |
| 1:59.3 | spirituality. And it teaches us how to become healthy adults. From anxiety and depression to |
| 2:05.9 | codependency and relationship issues, you can use the adult chair for just about anything. |
| 2:11.7 | Each week, I share practical tips, tools, and advice from myself and a wide range of experts |
| 2:18.2 | on how to get unstuck, how to live authentically, and how to truly love yourself, |
| 2:23.6 | all while sitting in your adult chair. Welcome to the adult chair podcast. |
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