336 SelfWork: The Confusion About Vulnerability and The Difficulty of Enmeshment
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2023
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I love answering your questions and hearing your comments! In fact, it's one of the most favorite things I do here on SelfWork! Sharing perspectives is more than welcome.
Today I'm answering two listener voicemails: One is on the topic of what exactly IS vulnerability... is it a choice you make - to be vulnerable? Or is it a state of being, where your vulnerability is something that needs to be protected? And why is that even important?
Because how you answer that question reflects your perception - and whether you'd want to learn to be vulnerable or it's the last thing that would every occur to you.
Enmeshment isn't well-understood by many. It looks like closeness in a family or relationship. Loyalty. But... there can also be an rigid expectation of what kind of identity outside of the family you're allowed. A listener from Jordan calls in to talk about his anger and frustration with this - but also his fear of losing his family.
Thank you as always for being here! And thanks to our sponsors - Athletic Greens and Ozark Mountain Medicine's CBD products!
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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:14.1 | At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.4 | I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today |
| 0:26.2 | for your own Selfwork. |
| 0:29.8 | Hello, and welcome or welcome back to Selfwork. |
| 0:32.2 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:33.7 | I'm a clinical psychologist, and I've lived and worked in fave Arkansas for over 30 years. |
| 0:38.7 | I'm so glad you're here. |
| 0:40.8 | First of all, fantastic news. |
| 0:44.6 | Very well-mined has ranked Selfwork in the top 10 podcasts for depression for 2023. |
| 0:50.6 | Thank you so much to very well-mined. |
| 0:52.7 | So thank all of you for listening and telling your friends and spreading the word. |
| 1:01.6 | Today I'm going to feature a question I got quite recently about how I'm using the word |
| 1:05.9 | vulnerability. It's a great common and question. I love constructive criticism, |
| 1:10.9 | and so I'll answer it and more. |
| 1:13.4 | The second voicemail questions today is about enmeshment. This is from a reader of my website, |
| 1:18.7 | one of the blog posts there. |
| 1:20.4 | What do you do when your family and your culture demand that you stay close to their expectations? |
| 1:26.2 | So we'll dig into that as well. |
| 1:28.7 | Athletic Greens has a great product and a fabulous offer for you. |
| 1:32.7 | So let's hear from this sponsor who helps me bring you Selfwork, AG1. |
... |
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