4.9 • 2.6K Ratings
🗓️ 12 May 2025
⏱️ 76 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
We’ve all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be besties or secretly planning our demise. The ups and downs of it can feel like a whiplashing rollercoaster. Solving the mystery can seem impossible, but we might just have your answers!
In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their long-time friend and fellow Life Consultant, Rachel, to shine a light on disorganized attachment and its impact on relationships. As three people who’ve operated out of it, they unpack the origins of this pattern, the push-pull dynamics it creates, and the internal shame, fear, and powerlessness that come with it. From childhood trauma to emotional incest, they reflect on how early wounds shape our nervous systems—and what it takes for people with disorganized attachment to create stable connections.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much, too broken, or too confusing to love… this episode is for you. There is a path toward clarity, healing, and secure connection—and it starts with understanding. Don’t miss out.
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
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0:00.0 | Life isn't perfect, and neither are we. |
0:05.0 | No, but we know how to face our fears and have some fun. |
0:10.0 | And talk about all the messiest things of life. |
0:13.0 | Like the messiest things. |
0:15.0 | Get connected to yourself, get connected to others, and get connected to the life right in front of you. |
0:21.6 | This is the connected life with Justin and Abby. |
0:24.7 | That's me. |
0:25.5 | That's you. |
0:26.6 | And you. |
0:27.8 | Oh, for the love of God, I don't know what to say. |
0:29.9 | I said it so well before. |
0:31.6 | Here we are. |
0:32.9 | I don't know. |
0:33.8 | I'm stuck in this situation between two women and I don't like it. |
0:37.9 | You love it. You're stuck in between two women that you love. Admit it, but not in the same way. |
0:47.1 | Just to clarify. I was like I feel like there needs to be clarity, but let your mind go wherever it wants to go. Yeah, yeah. No, |
0:56.2 | this is my favorite kind of episode because we have Rachel here. We love Rachel. She has been |
1:03.7 | in the Stemball universe for at least a decade. Yeah. I've trained her for years. She's a master |
1:09.2 | consultant. She's a genius. |
1:11.7 | And then what I love is that she adds all of the sciencey facts to everything. |
1:16.6 | Yeah, that's true. |
1:17.3 | I was thinking about how like I read the science and I'm like, that makes sense. |
... |
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