#330: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents with Dr. Stan Tatkin

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I welcome back the brilliant Dr. Stan Tatkin to the show. This time, we’re talking about parenting, especially from the lens of being new parents. Dr. Tatkin co-authored the book Baby Bomb, which dives deep into the nuances of new parenting and the effects it has on the couple’s relationship dynamic. Couples are often unprepared for the challenges of parenthood and lack a solid foundation in their relationship. Dr. Tatkin covers topics like disagreements in parenting style, embracing the change in sexual dynamics, and how to master communication and connection. Whether you’ve got a babe on the way, are a new parent, or are interested in learning how to parent better - this episode is a MUST listen! Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). He is the best-selling author of In Each Other’s Care (4/25), along with the relationship must-have book, Wired for Love. Dr. Tatkin speaks and teaches around the world on how to understand, create and sustain secure-functioning relationships. He helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe. —Dr. Tatkin's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/ —The PACT Institute Website: https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ Themes: Authenticity, Belonging, Parenting, New Parents, Relationships, Boundaries, Attachment Theory, Transformation, Conflict, Mental Health, Psychology 0:00:00 Intro 0:10:57 Co-regulating Practices for Improved Communication and Connection 0:14:16 Challenges in Modern Times: Distractions, Isolation, and Lack of Support 0:16:41 Fighting for Two Winners: The Concept of Win-Win in Relationships 0:19:07 Navigating Disagreements in Parenting Styles 0:21:12 Parenting: Collaborative and ever-evolving 0:23:11 Taking charge of parenting, creating something entirely different 0:27:00 Understanding intimacy and embracing change in sexual dynamics 0:29:02 Growing up, accepting losses, and deepening intimacy in relationships 0:30:57 Embracing the opportunity to become a better couple through parenting 0:33:25 Profound Insights on Communication Struggles and Self-awareness 0:35:23 The Humaneness of Communication: An Opportunity for Growth This episode is sponsored by: —BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/GROVES —SafeSleeve: Use code GROVES10 for 10% off sitewide at safesleevecases.com Drop us a note at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Greetings, my friend, and welcome to another episode of the Mark Gross podcast.
0:11.7	Today I'm so excited I get to welcome back Dr. Stan Tak into the show.
0:17.3	He's an expert in couples therapy as well as secure functioning relationships, and he's
0:21.3	also the founder of the PACT Institute. Now, the PACT Institute stands for psychobiological
0:27.1	approach to couples therapy. It is a fusion of uranized favorite things, attachment theory,
0:32.3	developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation, and it was developed by Dr. Tacken.
0:37.2	Now, PACT has a reputation for
0:39.8	treating the most challenging couples. Look, there's not a lot of interventions that can say that.
0:44.9	And that's why I love talking to Dr. Tacken. Now, the last time we heard from him, we talked about
0:50.2	how to create a lasting, healthy relationship. I wanted to have him back on to talk about how relationships change after having a baby.
0:58.1	And he covers this in great detail in his book called Baby Bomb,
1:01.8	a relationship survival guide for new parents.
1:04.3	Now, as a new parent, this topic is obviously very fresh for me,
1:08.6	and I've been experiencing all the things about becoming a parent
1:11.3	that we hear about, but you don't really fully understand until you're in it. Now, here's the
1:16.3	thing. Whether you're a parent or not, you're going to learn a lot from this episode, because as
1:22.2	you can already guess, it always comes back to us. Ah, this episode is filled with brilliant wisdom and i can't wait
1:31.3	so let's dive right in dr stan tackin it is such an honor to be able to sit with you in person
1:38.7	in person right i feel like uh maybe like one of the people in your therapy chair. I don't use that chair.
1:45.3	Okay. Well, this is the podcasting chair now. Right. This is your second time on the podcast.
1:51.5	Yes. The first time we chatted about what helps couples be successful. And I recently read your book Baby Bomb.
2:06.9	And since Kylie and I have recently had a child, Jasper, he's seven months old, the title of that book captivated me because I thought, I kind of feel like our relationship has been
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