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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

327-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.723.4K Ratings

🗓️ 20 January 2016

⏱️ 94 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hey Hitler! Hope all is well. Let us know what's up. There's a new hilarious lady whose apartment has caught on fire. Sorry about the fire, lady. But super thankful a camera crew found you to talk about it. The mommies talk about crazy plastic surgeons, crazy Sean Penn, crazy edibles and whole lot more. Plus, Master Of Accents, Tom "The King of All Accents" Segura will blow your mind with his ability to mimic ANY accent! This episode is 100% denim.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey Hitler.

0:04.3

You know what that means time for a show

0:20.9

Jeans I had Hitler I had the best time in Denver, I'm the rot of a speed. You did

0:28.8

a lot of mommies come out. Oh my god. I had eight sold out shows. Holy fuck. Yeah, it was crazy. You're really becoming famous now.

0:38.8

It's I don't know if I'm kind of famous, but I'm used to totally are it's so weird. Yeah, it's weird because our lives are kind of the same.

0:46.3

Everything's the same. Yeah, but you're like famous now. That's kind of weird. I mean I'm internet famous

0:52.5

for sure. I'm like a fine star. You know, no, you're a little I think you're bigger than that. I got verified by Twitter this week. Yeah, finally. I mean I feel

1:03.0

So much better than regular people now. I didn't realize how good that checkmark fell. I know now wait for Instagram. They have a verify. No, I know that's a real summer.

1:11.4

Facebook they saw what was up a while ago. I don't think I've been I've been verified on Twitter, but not Facebook or Instagram.

1:17.7

So much better. Yeah, it was it was pretty crazy, man. Did you pull your peanut out? Oh, yeah, I checked my dick all over Denver. Yeah, I ate

1:29.0

Edibles. You didn't even tell me that. Yeah, yeah, vape dad. You thought vape dad was going to vape, but I ate edible eight one on stage. You

1:37.0

What do you tell me about this? Probably too high to remember.

1:39.6

So lucky. Yeah, tell me about your adventures outside. I will. So anyways, that was a blast. And then now I'm going to be here in my home city of Los

1:51.7

Hankeles. I will be at flappers. Fappers. That's the name of that. I'll be there. It's in Burbank, also known as sperm bank, California. It's in the greater Los Angeles area. Friday and

2:07.0

Saturday this week only the 22nd and 23rd of January come see me if you're in Los Angeles at flappers. Then I added. Let me see. Yes,

2:20.6

originally I was coming to Salt Lake City for a night. Now it's two nights four shows February 5th and 6th. The great

2:28.9

Doug Mellard will be joining me there. And then where am I going? We need a Salt Lake city. Oh, Shark Lake Titties. Yeah, oh, that's good. Yeah,

2:38.0

Shark Lake Titties. Why did we say that before? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. It's good.

2:42.7

Shark Lake. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. I fucked that up. That's wise guys. And then

2:49.8

kick off and the February February. February. I am in the city of Fartnix, Arizona. Sometimes known as Phoenix, but on this show is Fartnix. At stand-up live four shows

3:03.1

February 26th and 27th. Nice club. It's a beautiful club. Do they have the best food, too? They're one of the good food clubs.

3:11.8

Because Joel doesn't, he doesn't. He's like the fucking, he runs that club, you know, he's a gangster. So all good things, man. And as the year moves on, I'm hitting.

...

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