326 SelfWork: Digging Into the Pain of Not Being Accepted By Your Family
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 24 February 2023
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This month we’ve been talking about relationships.This week I heard Andrew Solomon speak about his book Far from the Tree – when parents have a child that has some kind of difference from them, and they struggle not to see that difference as a problem or something that needs to be fixed. I found his ideas fascinating – the relationship between parents and children – and how love is far different than acceptance. And how we as adults (or children) can struggle with not feeling acceptance from family but can discover it in social acceptance. So, let’s dig into that topic a bit today and I'll add in my own ideas as we go.
The listener email is from a mental health professional who tried to hide from her own depression for several reasons – but isn’t now. She’s kind enough to attribute that to my book and podcast. I’ll tell her story and share some of her thoughts and hope that for any of you out there who feel that you simply cannot talk about yourself or your struggles with any transparency, that you’ll pause and think about that for a second.
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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Andrew Solomon's interview with Big Think on the difference between love and acceptance
interview with Dr. Adam Hill here on SelfWork!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:14.1 | At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.4 | I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today |
| 0:26.2 | for your own Selfwork. |
| 0:29.9 | Welcome or welcome back to Selfwork. |
| 0:32.2 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:33.3 | I'm a clinical psychologist, and I started Selfwork over six years ago now to extend the |
| 0:39.2 | walls of my practice to those of you who might already be very interested in psychological |
| 0:43.0 | and emotional issues. |
| 0:44.0 | Maybe you're even already in therapy, or maybe you're someone who's just been diagnosed |
| 0:48.7 | with some kind of mental health issue and you're looking for answers or you're in a |
| 0:52.6 | relationship and you're struggling. |
| 0:56.0 | But also, I wanted to reach a third group of you. |
| 0:58.6 | Those of you who might kind of shake your heads and go, ah, that therapy is just for |
| 1:02.0 | a bunch of weak people who can't solve their own problems, and that's not what therapy |
| 1:05.9 | is at all. |
| 1:07.6 | So I'm hoping you'll be curious enough to listen in, or sadly, you might be in pain enough |
| 1:13.6 | to listen. |
| 1:14.6 | Welcome to all of you. |
| 1:16.7 | This month, we've been talking about relationships, and I had a whole other topic in mind for this |
| 1:21.0 | week on Selfwork, but as usual, I was listening to a podcast while I was walking this week, and |
... |
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