326: How to Emotionally Co-Regulate with Your Partner (with Elizabeth Earnshaw)
Vibrant Happy Women
Jen Riday
4.8 • 671 Ratings
🗓️ 7 June 2022
⏱️ 53 minutes
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Summary
Elizabeth Earnshaw is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified Gottman therapist. She is an expert on relationships and understands how essential it is that we emotionally co-regulate with our partners. She joins me this week to talk about this further, as well as how to create emotional safety in your relationship.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.jenriday.com/326
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to the Vibrins Happy Women podcast. I'm Dr. Jen Ridey, and on this episode, I'm so excited to be talking about why it's essential that we address our nervous system regulation before we ever try to change our behavior or our spouse's behavior in a relationship. |
| 0:19.7 | Stay tuned. |
| 0:20.3 | Hi, I'm Jen Ridey, and this podcast is for women who want to feel more vibrant, |
| 0:25.7 | happy, aligned, and alive. |
| 0:28.2 | You'll gain the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools you need |
| 0:31.6 | to get your sparkle back and ensure that depression, anxiety, and struggle don't rule your life. |
| 0:40.0 | Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast. |
| 0:48.7 | Hey there, my friends. Welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women. I am so excited for this episode today. I'll be interviewing Elizabeth Earnshaw, who will be talking with us about mental load and stress and overwhelm and how all of |
| 0:56.2 | these physiological states in our bodies and in our nervous systems impact our relationships |
| 1:01.7 | and how we must regulate our nervous systems and thereby co-regulate with our partners |
| 1:08.0 | before we ever hope to change our behaviors. This area has largely been |
| 1:13.3 | neglected in the research and in the marriage books that are out there, but it's starting to take |
| 1:18.0 | hold. And I have personally experimented with this, just focusing on staying emotionally regulated |
| 1:24.6 | and helping my spouse to emotionally regulate. And it's making a huge difference. |
| 1:30.6 | So huge that I have created a free workshop to share some of the tools and strategies my husband |
| 1:36.9 | and I are using along this line of regulation for our emotions and co-regulation. And that workshop is called Making Your Marriage Emotionally Safe. |
| 1:47.9 | And you can watch it immediately. |
| 1:50.3 | It's available at genridea.com slash safe. |
| 1:53.8 | You know, when we are regulated, we shift out of that fighter flight, out of that flooded state of cortisol and adrenaline that |
| 2:02.8 | makes us reactive and less empathetic. And then we can more easily connect and empathize, |
| 2:09.1 | which is what we all want all along. We want that emotional connection, that emotional intimacy. |
| 2:15.2 | We want to feel seen and heard and valued. So check out that workshop. |
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