324: The 82 Percent #1: What if you were asexual?
This Is Actually Happening
Wondery
4.6 • 9.9K Ratings
🗓️ 18 June 2024
⏱️ 58 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
A man grows up waiting for his sexuality to bloom, but after that moment never comes, he feels a longing for intimacy that leads him to transform the meaning of partnership, family and fatherhood for himself and for society.
Today’s episode featured David Jay. David is the founder of asexuality.org. If you’d like to reach out to David, you can email him at [email protected]. David’s new book, titled “Relationality: How moving from transactional to transformational relationships can reshape our lonely world” is available for preorder on Amazon, and wherever books are sold.
This episode is the first of a six-part miniseries called the 82 Percent: Modern stories of love and family, produced in collaboration with the Modern Family Institute. If you’d like to find out more about the Modern Family Institute, donate to help advance their work, or get engaged, please visit their website, modernfamilyinstitute.org.
Modern Family Institute Founders:
Dr. Heath Schechinger is a therapist, researcher, and organizer, known for his groundbreaking work within the realm of family and relationship diversity. In addition to his role as Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Modern Family Institute, he serves as the Founding Co-Chair of the American Psychological Association Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy, and an Affiliate Faculty at the renowned Kinsey Institute. Dr. Schechinger’s work sheds light on the elements that cultivate healthy relationships and the rise of non-nuclear family and relationship configurations. He has authored multiple empirical publications and clinical resources and his work has been featured in major media outlets such as The New York Times, BBC, Vogue, and Time Magazine.
Dr. Lily Lamboy is a social impact executive, educator, artist, and researcher with over 15 years of experience building complex systems to support human flourishing. She currently serves as the Co-Founder and Managing Director of the Modern Family Institute and the Director of the Open Workplaces Initiative for the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy. Dr. Lamboy’s research and career has focused how we can arrange social and economic resources to ensure care for all people across their lifespans. Prior to founding Modern Family Institute, Dr. Lamboy led the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion functions at both Stripe and Blue Shield of California, where she designed and executed scalable strategies for long-term social change. She has authored peer-reviewed articles in publications including Cambridge University Press, Theory and Research in Education, and the International Panel on Social Progress.
Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock
Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual themes, explicit language
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Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com
Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com
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Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper
Music Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes” – SkyeVoyager
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is actually happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. |
| 0:04.1 | Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode and for more information about support services. Hi listeners I'm thrilled to announce that today we begin our six-part mini series called |
| 0:21.9 | the 82% modern stories of love and family. |
| 0:26.4 | The title of the series The 82% refers to the fact that currently in the US only 18% of households are defined as a nuclear family, which is a two-parent household with one or more children. |
| 0:38.0 | This means that 82% of US households are living in a family or relationship structure that resides outside of what is considered the normative ideal of a nuclear family. |
| 0:48.0 | From single-parenthood to aloe parenting to polyamary to a-romantic Co-living. |
| 0:53.3 | In this series we'll explore life in the 82%. |
| 0:56.6 | Featuring six stories of people who are living in family and relationship structures |
| 1:01.0 | that challenge some of our deepest societal norms by reimagining what love and family can be. |
| 1:06.0 | The series was created in collaboration with Dr. Heath Sheshinger and Lily Lamboy from the Modern Family Institute. |
| 1:13.0 | The Modern Family Institute is a nonprofit devoted to improving relational, mental, and physical well-being |
| 1:19.0 | by ensuring that everyone has access to resources and systems of care, supporting their unique family and relationship structures through research, storytelling, and policy advocacy. |
| 1:30.0 | The series will run from this week through the end of the season in late July, |
| 1:34.0 | and will also feature bonus content conversations between me and several experts in the field, |
| 1:38.7 | including Jessica Fern and Alex Chen. |
| 1:41.5 | This coming Thursday will feature the first of those bonus interviews in a conversation |
| 1:45.5 | between Me and Heath and Lily from the Modern Family Institute, in which we discuss a wide range of topics |
| 1:50.9 | from the historical roots of monogamy and the nuclear family to legal advances in protections for diverse relationship structures. |
| 1:58.0 | Of all the series we've done on the show, this one has been the most meaningful for me personally, and I'm so honored to be sharing these stories with you all |
| 2:06.0 | So without further delay here is the first episode of our 82% series. What if you were asexual? |
| 2:16.9 | It starts as a feeling of a lack. |
| 2:18.6 | It starts as feeling broken, |
... |
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