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The Mark Groves Podcast

#324: How to Somatically Rewire Your Past to Create Secure Attachment with Sarah Baldwin

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.95K Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2023

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today I welcome back Sarah Baldwin for the third time - Sarah’s last two podcasts have the most downloads out of any of my episodes! Sarah is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and expert in the field of trauma resolution. She’s a member of the world-renowned Polyvagal Theory training team and has trained clinicians around the world in nervous system interventions.  In this episode, Sarah explains how we can use our nervous systems to rewire our past experiences to create secure attachment, deepen intimacy, and ultimately have better relationships. She brings light to the core needs resulting from our childhood experiences that drive our adult behaviors, and how understanding the connection can help us identify the root causes of ruptures in our relationships. She also guides us through somatic regulation techniques to foster more genuine connections, gently expand our comfort zones, and finally heal the traumas of our past so we can be the best version of ourselves today. Nervous system regulation is some of the most important work we can do, so dive right in to learn more! — Sarah’s Instagram @sarahbcoaching: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching —Sarah’s Website: sarahbaldwincoaching.com —Sarah’s Amazing Course - You Make Sense: https://programs.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/you-make-sense Themes: Somatic Therapy, Nervous System, Regulation, Self-Healing, Trauma, Attachment Theory, Relational Dynamics, Relationships, Belonging, Societal Pressures, Childhood Trauma, Overcoming Fear, Healing Our Past, Parenting Chapters: 0:00:00 Intro 0:08:34 The Importance of Feeling Safe in Our Nervous System 0:13:02 Unconscious attraction resulting from childhood experiences 0:14:00 Disconfirming Experiences 0:18:42 Internal Co-regulation: Changing Autonomic Tones for Self-Healing 0:21:41 How to help others regulate without becoming dysregulated 0:27:33 Meeting our own needs and creating internal secure attachment 0:31:01 Nervous System Responses in Relational Dynamics 0:38:35 Avoidant attachment and the human need for connection 0:42:12 The struggle of avoidance and the desire for connection 0:45:18 Building capacity for good things in life and overcoming overwhelm 0:48:25 Shifting from posturing to desiring genuine connection 0:52:08 Taking tolerable steps towards connection and expanding comfort zone 0:56:08 The Power of Relationships in Motivating Change 1:00:47 The Nervous System and the Impact of Media and Propaganda 1:05:10 The Impact of Nervous System Healing on Relationships 1:08:37 Nervous System Regulation in Every System for a Better World This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/GROVES Drop us a note at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0

Every relationship has ruptures and it's a natural part of life. And ruptures are actually how we create

0:06.3

deeper intimacy. It's necessary. Yeah, trust intimacy. It meant I am going to be in danger. When

0:13.7

someone's avoidant, that is not somebody who doesn't care or doesn't deeply want connection. You cannot

0:20.4

bypass the human need for connection.

0:23.6

But this is the result of having caregivers

0:26.6

whom were never there or not available,

0:30.5

less than 30% of the time were they available.

0:33.0

And actually with avoidancy, it's even less than that,

0:35.1

maybe 10% of the time.

0:39.9

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast. Today I have

0:44.0

try, it's your third. Third. I was going to say trifecta. I'm not sure if that's the right

0:49.1

word, but your third time, your three Pete. Welcome back, Sarah Baldwin. Thanks for having me.

0:54.8

I'm really glad to be here.

0:55.9

Oh my gosh.

0:56.4

I'm so excited to have you here.

0:57.8

You are the official title holder of the most popular episode out of all of them.

1:03.1

So for you listening, if you haven't listened to the previous two episodes I've done with Sarah,

1:08.8

they're mandatory, I would say, for good relational awareness.

1:14.9

And, you know, you're like, yeah, probably. You don't have to say that. I get to say that.

1:21.8

It's number one for a reason, though, because that, the first one we ever did was on how the nervous

1:27.1

system works. Yeah. And then the second one we did, was on how the nervous system works.

1:28.0

And then the second one we did, which I think was actually like a month later, right?

...

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