Hey guys, thanks for tuning in.

Today's show got another great one for you where we welcome Dr. Linda Span and Dr. Span specializes in coaching and therapy for lesbian and LGBTQ relationships and puts an emphasis on erasing the stigma of addressing mental health concerns so you can have healthy relationships and today we talk about ways to reconnect and pivot on a dime as Dr. Span says and you're going to love today's

episode because it's super actionable quick tips of things that you can do today to reconnect with your partner and some of them are simple some things you've heard of but we can always use reminders but there's some new ones that I really love in some different perspectives that Dr. Span brings in for us to think about and implement today so I always love those super actionable tips that we can just get off the podcast and implement right away.

So really appreciate Dr. Span coming on the show appreciate you guys for tuning in and joy today's episode.

Hi Dr. Span, thank you so much for joining me on the show today.

Oh, it's so great to be here today. Thanks for having me.

Today we're going to talk about a few different things but in the pre show you and I were talking and and you said you wanted to share some tips on how couples can reconnect and particularly you said something that they could do tonight and always love super actionable things that we can bring into our relationship.

So let's start by talking about some ways that we can reconnect and warm things up tonight if we want to.

Yeah, one of my favorite things to do chases to help couples figure out how to pivot into connection on a dime something things little things that they can do.

In the moment that can bring back a sense of connection and warmth in the relationship.

Let me just start with one one that I have in mind and and that is to if you will make it commitment today to how your partner.

Seven to 10 times I know that sounds like a whole lot of times but there's such magic in in human hugs.

The hugs have been found to we released the love hormone of oxytocin they've been found to help us regulate and calm each other down they they have a way of melting away the insecurities and fears that build up.

And so my challenges for those listening to go ahead and give your partner seven hugs between now and bedtime.

That is great and it's simple but it can create a feeling of warmth and so often we just get stuck in our routines we got work maybe there's kids and we don't take the time to pause and do that because you're busy making dinner getting ready to go to work and the kids ready for school so it's simple but it can be super effective.

I agree. Now I have another idea this one may sound counterintuitive but my my challenge is that you don't say I love you to your partner today do not say I love you.

Instead what I want you to do is to to think a little bit outside of the box get get creative.

That phrase I love you can become so root and I so mundane sounding almost something you know like sort of like pass me the salt.

So I do not want you to say I love you instead I want you to look for some some new ways to let your partner know that that they're special to you that that you know you you really dig what they're doing that that you appreciate them.

So instead of saying I love you you can just can't tell your partner how hot they look and what they're wearing or cook their favorite meal and live a couple of candles play your favorite song right before bed do some things like that find a way to communicate the spirit of you mean so much to me without using that phrase.

That is a great one and maybe this shows title will be why you should not say I love you.

People's attention but but no it's such a good thing sometimes in the arts I've heard that they say you know restrictions and boundaries can actually spur creativity because if you don't have endless options for expressing your love because the most simple default thing in a relationship will be to say I love you.

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