322: Summer Series 1: Narcissistic Abuse Explained with Caroline Strawson
The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
Michelle Chalfant
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 7 July 2022
⏱️ 71 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing.
Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built.
Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse.
In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop "protector parts" and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life, and how to move forward.
Listen to discover:
- The source of childhood wounding and trauma
- How our nervous system is designed to protect us
- Why codependents and narcissists are magnets for each other (and why it's easier for the codependent to change)
- How we can feel compassion for wounded people without accepting abuse
- Why people stay in abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship
- The difference between PTSD and complex PTSD
- How to begin building self-worth even if you're still in an abusive relationship
Whether you've been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma, and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others.
"Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody." - Caroline Strawson
"Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson
"Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us, and move us away from the biggest perceived pain." - Caroline Strawson
"No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson
"The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,' to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson
"I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant
"When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant
"Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Caroline Strawson Website
https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Caroline Strawson Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/
Caroline Strawson Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
"Divorce Became My Superpower" (Caroline Strawson Book)
https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Do you believe that if you are with the right person that your relationship should be easy |
| 0:07.5 | and you should not ever fight? |
| 0:10.9 | How about this one? |
| 0:11.9 | Have you ever heard that getting married or having a baby will mend a broken relationship? |
| 0:18.2 | Here's what's true. |
| 0:19.7 | These are relationship myths. |
| 0:22.5 | They're just not true. |
| 0:24.3 | And after years of working with clients that felt dissatisfied, frustrated, and even hopeless |
| 0:28.9 | in their relationship, I realized that their unhappiness was due to relationship myths that |
| 0:34.8 | they were believing in and measuring their relationship against. |
| 0:39.8 | This is why I created the top five relationship myths keeping you disconnected from your partner. |
| 0:46.4 | In this free guide, you will get not only the most common relationship myths, but also tips |
| 0:52.5 | on how to change your relationship today. |
| 0:56.1 | You can download the free guide at theadultchair.com-fordslash-miths. |
| 1:02.8 | That's theadultchair.com-fordslash-miths. |
| 1:06.0 | That's M-Y-T-H-S. |
| 1:13.2 | Hi, I'm Michelle Shelfand, psychotherapist, holistic life coach, and human, just like you, |
| 1:19.3 | learning to navigate life challenges. |
| 1:21.6 | So over 25 years experience, I teach people how to get healthy using theadultchair model. |
| 1:27.4 | Theadultchair model is where simple psychology meets grounded spirituality, and it teaches |
| 1:32.7 | us how to become healthy adults. |
| 1:36.0 | From anxiety and depression to codependency and relationship issues, you can use theadult |
... |
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