I was doing everything subconsciously that was pushing my husband in the very opposite direction of me.

Even when I was sharing just like my joy, he would just look like bored out of his mind or he would like dismiss me.

And it was very hurtful and for the very long time I felt very alone.

What I had learned that, oh, it's all about husband. It's all about the kids.

You know, a good wife is supposed to sacrifice for the kids, for the husband. And, you know,

your desires are not as important. If you're anything like I was, this probably isn't the first

year you've wished your marriage felt closer, lighter, or just

easier. I resolved to fix my marriage year after year because I was so upset that my husband wasn't

paying attention to me, didn't seem to care about anything around the house, and he was more

interested in watching reruns on TV than spending time with me.

But of course, I had no idea how to fix any of those things, except trying harder, which only made me exhausted.

But I've learned something since those bad old days.

It's simple, but it changed everything for me.

And for thousands of women on our campus, you can't have what you

want until you know what you want. That sounds obvious. I know, but I spent years thinking about

what I didn't want, the fights I didn't want, the loneliness I didn't want, the distance I didn't

want. And guess what grew? Exactly those things.

So here we are in a brand new year and I want to ask you something important. Do you have a vision

for your marriage in 2026? Not a list of what you wish your husband would stop doing, not a vague hope that things might somehow get

better. I'm talking about your vision, the experience you want to have, how you want to feel

in your relationship. And I want to take that one step further today because around here we're all

about dreaming big. What if, stay with me here, what if you didn't just wish for a better

...