You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. Today's episode is a Q&A, so I'm

answering your questions, and we're going to be focusing on anxious avoidant relationships and the various trials and tribulations that can come with that, different manifestations of that tension between anxious and avoidant partners, some of the places that can come up and how you can navigate that.

So some of the themes will be around honesty and

dishonesty, privacy, boundaries around space, how to navigate exclusivity in early dating,

and how to deal with your partner rejecting your sexual advances. So mismatched libido. So we'll be covering all of that

today. Before I dive into that, I just want to remind you that my free Attachment 101 guide is

available to download in the show notes. It gives an overview of each attachment style,

their origins, some of their pain points and how that can show up in adult

relationship. So definitely check it out and that's there for your download in the show notes.

Okay, so the first question I'm going to answer here is, what drives the habit of dishonesty

that seems to be frequent with avoidant partners? And while of course, I don't want to make any generalisations,

and if you've been listening for a while, you know how I feel about broad brush tarnishing of

of wident people, I think it is fair to say that dishonesty and evasiveness and vagueness can be a theme there. And the way that this often shows up

for avoidant people is it's part of that broader desire to retain and protect autonomy

and selfhood and independence. And I think there can be a story that I don't owe you anything.

I don't have to tell you anything. I don't have to give you information about what I'm doing or what I'm

thinking or who I'm talking to. That's mine. And their perception of reasonable privacy is probably at the fairly extreme end of the

spectrum. And their expectations around reasonable disclosure might really differ from that of an

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