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You Are Not So Smart

319 - Love Factually - Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick

You Are Not So Smart

You Are Not So Smart

Science, Psychology, Brain, Business, Mental Health, Culture, Neuroscience, Mind, Health

4.61.8K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Two psychologists who study love, relationships, and human mating behavior pick apart the movie "The Notebook" and tell us what it gets right and what it gets wrong when it comes to portraying how humans actually, truly think, feel, and behave.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You can go to Kitted K-I-T-T-E-D dot shop and use the code Smart50, S-M-A-R-T-5-0 at checkout,

0:09.0

and you will get half off a set of thinking superpowers in a box.

0:14.2

If you want to know more about what I'm talking about, check it out.

0:17.0

Middle of the show. The Show. I'm

0:21.6

Bhop

0:22.6

Bhop

0:24.6

Down into the middle of the parties and the get. Welcome to the You Are Not So Episode Episode 319 319 I'm I'm I don't know I'm I'm going to Would you just stay with me?

1:07.0

Stay with you? What for? Look at us. We're already fight.

1:10.0

Well, that's what we do. We fight.

1:13.8

You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch, and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass.

1:18.3

Which you are, 99% of the time.

1:22.9

That was some audio from The Notebook. A 20-plus year old movie. Yes, 2004 was more than 20 years ago, and 2004 was the year that the notebook came out. And if you've seen it, you may very well love it. Or you may very well hate it. It's one of those kinds of movies because the notebook was and is an incredibly

1:46.7

popular romance film that people tend to really, really adore and hold in high regard, or

1:53.5

they really, really dislike and consider it to not only be bad, but problematic. For some, this movie makes them cry and think deeply

2:04.7

about romance and relationships and marriage. For others, it makes them angry and disgusted in a way.

2:12.8

There's just like this disdain that bubbles up inside you, because the main relationship, the point

2:19.7

of the whole movie, the focus of the film, it can be interpreted as quite toxic and the characters

2:25.2

as deeply flawed and even dangerous as role models.

2:30.2

One of the protagonists threatens suicide if the other one doesn't agree to date him, and the other

2:36.3

protagonist cheats on their fiancé, and they both seem to feed off of this energy of shouting

2:43.7

a lot at each other, and so on, and so on, and so on. There are many ways. One could criticize

2:50.7

this film, but also, there are many ways. One could criticize this film, but also there are many ways you

...

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