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Delight Your Marriage

314-(For your Holiday) The Harm of Fights & How to Recover

Delight Your Marriage

Belah Rose

Christianity, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Religion & Spirituality

4.7589 Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

JUST in time for the holidays!

Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately.

(Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!)

---

When I look at scriptures like...

Phil 2:3

"Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself."

"Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse]." 

 

That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it?

And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?

 

I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday.

 

But...you may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with...

-Untrue accusations...

-Totally, self-centered criticisms...

-Immature and discouraging complaints...

What are you supposed to do?

 

That's what I'm going to help you see in today's conversation. 

Here's the summary if you can't listen in right now...

1 - Have a daily prayer time for your spouse & a daily time in the Word so your heart and mind are shaped by God's leadership.

[Enter negativity from spouse]

2 - Wait. 

3 - Could there be something you don't understand that is why they are reacting that way?

4 - Compassionately circle back after emotions have calmed and listen to understand, not to respond.

5 - [Several other things I include in the podcast]

6 - Witness God do amazing things.

 

In this episode, I also teach you how to personalize the Bible so it helps you with your marriage.

And how to get started loving this book (even if it feels like a chore now).

 

Suffice it to say that God cares about what comes out of our mouths. Here's another motivating scripture...

 

Prov 12:18 -- "Your reckless words pierce [your spouse] like swords." 

 

Yikes!

Let's let that word picture motivate us to hold our tongue!

Start at home, because that's your most important human assignment. The person you can harm or heal the most. 

 

The final part of Prov. 12:18 "...your tongue -- if you are wise -- brings healing to [your spouse]." 

 

Isn't that what we want, everyone around us to be healed? Is us "being right" more important than their healing?

 

When this habit is strong with our spouse, it impacts our habits with our kids, our extended family, our friends, our work, our light in the world... 

Everyone. 

 

I pray that this encourages you to be the peacemaker in your home - as that is what God, through His Word, asks of you.

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Get the help you need by speaking to a Clarity Advisor (a $300 value) for free here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

A recent grad from the Masculinity Reclaimed course said, "Thanks for changing my life and my marriage in ways I didn't even think needed changing."

PPS - I've got a ton of free resources if you haven't yet checked them: delightyourmarriage.com/free

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Delight Your Marriage podcast. You're joining me, Bella Rose, as I dive deep into the beauty, power, and truths about intimacy. Learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. Delight your marriage.

0:22.8

Hey there.

0:24.3

Thank you for joining me.

0:26.2

It's Bella.

0:27.1

And I want to just tell you how honored I am that we get to connect today.

0:32.0

And any moment that you join the podcast, it means a lot to me.

0:35.6

So thank you.

0:36.9

Before we get started on the importance of,

0:40.9

well, really the harm of arguments and fights in your marriage, I want to let you know that if you need

0:51.1

help in your marriage, if you're desperate, you're playing with fire, right?

0:57.1

You're playing with, you know, financial ruin. But your kids, potential eternity. They need a mom and

1:05.4

dad in the house. They need to be loved well. And when we're so focused on the love we're not receiving from our

1:15.9

spouse, it takes away from our ability to love others well, including our own kids. And those

1:23.0

souls that God has entrusted you to steward well, it's a big deal.

1:29.6

So for the sake of your own kids, I want to challenge you and encourage you to get this

1:36.2

marriage thing sorted.

1:37.8

And we can help you.

1:39.2

You can go to delightyourmarriage.com slash CC, sign up for a clarity call with one of my clarity advisors who

1:46.2

themselves have gone through the program and has changed their own marriages by God's grace.

1:52.7

In fact, everyone that is in the DYM team, every single person are graduates and they have

1:59.7

seen it transform their own marriages and they get to see it

2:02.6

every day in the marriages and lives we get to serve. So praise God for that. And let's dive into

...

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