31. Creating New Support Networks With Etta Fly

The Secret Lives of Black Women

The Secret Lives of Black Women and Stitcher

Society & Culture

4.4 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 April 2020

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this second installment of our two-parter on managing grief, Charla and Lauren talk with Detroit community leader Espy Thomas aka Etta Fly. She started her own grief management circle run out of her family’s sweet potato restaurant called “Where Do Black Women Go to Grieve?” And she’s here to discuss how she helped Black women in her community break through the cultural barriers and red tape around seaking therapy, to talk through their deepest losses together. But because she’s Etta Fly, it’s actually a very uplifting conversation. You can find more about The SLBW at https://www.instagram.com/theslbw/ Follow SLBW on Twitter and Instagram @theslbw Follow Etta Fly on Instagram @Ettaflyy or join her virtual community on the “Where do Black Women Go to Grieve?” Facebook group

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	It's hard if you have not processed your grief. You can't breathe.
0:05.0	There was a rock in my throat for so long.
0:08.0	I could not tell this story. I could not breathe.
0:11.0	I never thought I'd be 32 years old and have lost a whole husband.
0:15.0	We're giving people permission to not be okay.
0:19.0	I want to love now, do it now, and just experience with everything now.
0:25.0	I dress how I want to dress, I do what I want to do, I move offensively and work in business.
0:31.0	People like, I say, when I show up, you know, know I'm gonna show up now just like this but
0:34.1	don't try to ask me to change or to do anything differently because I'm not gonna do that
0:38.9	because I have to be myself so I think it's give me just more power to be who I want to be and that and letting that be okay.
0:47.0	This is the secret lives of black women. I'm Charlotte and I'm Lauren and today we're talking more about
0:57.2	managing grief. Last episode we got some tips from licensed grief counselor
1:01.1	Kiechewells about ways people can get the most out of therapy.
1:05.0	But for this week we also know it's difficult for some black women to seek therapy and
1:10.0	a lot of times we're like expected to soldier through stuff just alone, you know, like...
1:15.0	Because we're the strong black woman.
1:18.0	Like deal with it in a quiet room in the dark.
1:22.0	Or sometimes it's even cultural.
1:24.0	Yeah. Even the things that we impose on each other, the expectations that we uphold
1:29.8	about each other and how we're supposed to manage pain and grief.
1:33.3	So that can even make it difficult to seek therapy,
1:36.3	but we can create systems of support outside of it
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Secret Lives of Black Women and Stitcher, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of The Secret Lives of Black Women and Stitcher and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.