308. Sex As A Flow State

You Are Not Broken

Kelly Casperson, MD

Medicine, Health & Fitness

5 • 743 Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Kelly Casperson and Dr. Emily Jamea discuss the evolution of sexual satisfaction, exploring the concept of 'good enough sex' and the pursuit of deeper intimacy through the flow state. They emphasize the importance of safety, communication, and connection in relationships, while addressing common barriers to sexual desire such as complacency and societal expectations. The conversation highlights the need for couples to actively engage in their sexual lives and prioritize emotional safety to enhance their experiences. In this conversation, Emily Jamea and Kelly Casperson, MD, explore the intricate dynamics of relationships, focusing on the concept of flow state, the importance of preparation and communication, and the impact of self-identity on sexual expression. They discuss how reconnecting with innate qualities can enhance intimacy, the role of novelty and curiosity in maintaining desire, and the balance between connection and independence in relationships. The conversation emphasizes the significance of touch and the need for effective communication to foster deeper connections. Takeaways Dr. Jamea's book offers a next-level perspective on sexual satisfaction. The honeymoon phase is temporary; couples seek more than just 'good enough' sex. Flow state is crucial for experiencing heightened sexual satisfaction. Safety in relationships is foundational for women to enjoy sex. Communication is key to understanding each partner's needs and desires. Complacency is a major barrier to sexual desire in couples. Sex should be seen as an opportunity for enjoyment, not obligation. Gender socialization impacts women's perceptions of their sexual desires. Attunement between partners enhances sexual satisfaction. Creating rituals for connection can improve intimacy and sexual experiences. Flow state requires a balance of challenge and skill. Too much novelty can lead to anxiety in relationships. Preparation and communication are crucial for intimacy. We are born with qualities that enhance our sexual experiences. Self-identity significantly impacts sexual expression. Novelty in life can enhance sexual experiences. Touch is essential for relationship satisfaction. Emotional connection is vital for sexual desire. Gentle communication can improve intimacy. Understanding dynamics of desire can enhance relationships. Anatomy Of Desire by Dr. Emily Jamea Sedona in October - only a few slots left: https://www.ascendretreats.com/menopause-and-sexual-health-2025 Order my book "You Are Not Broken: Stop "Should-ing" All Over You Sex Life" Listen to my Tedx Talk: Why we need adult sex ed Take my Adult Sex Ed Master Class: My Website Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? Check it out. Thanks to our sponsor Midi Women's Health. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance. Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care. https://www.joinmidi.com To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit via4her.com for 20% off your first purchase of any product, automatically applied at checkout. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the You Are Not Broken podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kelly Casperson, a board-certified
0:09.9	jurologist, thought leader, and conversation starter on midlife living, hormones, and sexuality.
0:16.5	Enjoy the show.
0:18.2	Hey, everybody. Is your sex life okay, but you want it to be better?
0:21.1	I have Dr. Germia on today.
0:23.3	Dr. Emily Jamea, author of the newly released book, Anatomy of Desire.
0:27.5	Welcome to the You're Not Broken podcast.
0:29.7	Thank you so much.
0:30.8	I'm so thrilled to be here with you today.
0:32.9	I'm such a fan of your work, too.
0:34.4	So it's great to connect face to face.
0:36.6	Thank you. So, I mean, to me,
0:38.2	your book is the next level. Like my book, I feel like I read your book and I was like,
0:43.4	this is a book to read after you read, you were not broken because mine's like more intro,
0:49.0	the vulva's important, blah, blah, blah. And your book's really like, sex is not shitty. Sex is good or decent. Is it
0:57.6	possible there's a next level? And I love that because that's what's missing, I think,
1:03.2	in the instruction is like, we're just trying to get people not shitty. Yeah. And then there's like,
1:09.0	there is another world. Can you talk about like what inspired you to write the book?
1:14.3	Yeah, sure. So, you know, I noticed I had clients come in. I've been doing this work for over 15 years. And to your point, I would get people where I could help them improve desire. I could improve satisfaction. I could help women have more consistent
1:27.8	orgasms. I could help guys, you know, regain ejaculatory control. But they'd come back and they'd be
1:33.3	like, it's better, but we want a little more josh, if you will, you know, like, is it ever going to be
1:40.0	as good as it was in the honeymoon stage or like we see in the movies. And I'd kind of give them
	...

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