306 // How to Deal With Unmet Needs

The Mindful Kind

Rachael Kable

Mindfulness, Mindful, Health & Fitness, Self-help, Inspiration

4.6 • 636 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2021

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hello and welcome to episode 306 of The Mindful Kind podcast.

In this episode, you'll learn about unmet needs and how to deal with them in compassionate ways.

Getting our important needs met isn't always possible, which is why it can be so helpful to know how to look after ourselves well when that happens.

Here are some simple and self-compassionate ways to deal with unmet needs:

- use self-soothing touch

- engage in kind self-talk

- make a positive plan to get your needs met in the future

- talk about your needs with someone you trust

If you're feeling alone and you're looking for someone to talk to about your unmet needs, I highly recommend checking out the sponsor of this episode, BetterHelp. Head over to trybetterhelp.com/themindfulkind to receive 10% off your first month.

Thanks so much for listening and I hope you have a wonderful week, Mindful Kind.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Mindful Kind podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Cable, author of the
0:08.9	Mindfulkind book, Mindfulness Teacher and blogger at Rachelcable.com. Each week this podcast will bring
0:15.4	meaningful tips, tools and strategies so you can manage stress and live more mindfully in the modern world.
0:23.6	Hello and welcome to episode 306 of the Mindful Kind podcast. I'm really excited to dive into
0:30.2	this episode about unmet needs and how to deal with them in compassionate ways. This is one of
0:35.5	the key things I took away from my most recent session with my
0:38.6	psychologist, and I thought it might be helpful to share on this episode too. If you've been listening
0:43.8	to The Mindful Kind for a while, you'll already know I'm a big believer in seeking extra support,
0:49.2	and I've been seeing a psychologist for a few years now, and it's been incredibly helpful for me.
0:55.4	So from what I understand, unmet needs are things that we need in our lives that we didn't get or that we still
1:00.9	don't get. There can be really important needs like safety and love that if we don't get,
1:07.4	especially in our younger years, these unmet needs can still influence us years later.
1:13.5	For example, I was doing some research and found that children whose caregivers or parents
1:17.4	were detached or critical could have an unmet need for approval and appreciation from others.
1:24.2	They didn't receive approval or genuine praise as a child. Basically, their need for approval was
1:29.2	unmet and as they grew up, they felt compelled to people please and work really hard to seek
1:35.3	approval to compensate for what they missed out on. Unfortunately, people pleasing can potentially
1:40.9	lead to anxiety, stress and burnout. So unmet needs can be really quite complex and I think most people are likely to have at least a couple of unmet needs.
1:52.0	I don't think it's possible for every single need we have to be met at every stage of our lives.
1:58.0	However, one of the things that I talked about with my psychologist was how to deal with
2:01.7	unmet needs, both from the past and in the present, we talked about some of the unmet needs I've had
2:07.6	and how they might be impacting me now. And one of the strategies that we talked about was dealing
	...

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