301: Essential Insights for Understanding an Avoidant

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 June 2025

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners? Are you dating someone who pulls away just when things get close? When this happens, it’s easy to feel lost and wonder if the person you’re dating is avoidant or simply not that interested.

In this episode, Matthew, Stephen, and Audrey dive deep into the topic of avoidant attachment, exploring how it develops, signs to look for, and what you can do if you’re dating someone with avoidant behavior.

Topics Covered:

The 5 key traits of avoidant partners.
Why avoidants and anxious people are magnetically drawn to each other.
Whether we overuse the “avoidant” label as a defense mechanism.
How early experiences shape attachment patterns.
What to do if you’re anxiously attached and dating someone avoidant.
How to tell the difference between an avoidant and someone who just doesn’t want a relationship.
How to anticipate the needs of a more independent partner.
The importance of not mistaking emotional unavailability for “value.”

Links:

DatingWithResults.com – Free training for finding love without the chaos of modern dating.
JoinLoveLife.com – Become a member and access exclusive live coaching sessions and courses.
AskMH.com – Try Matthew AI and get real-time coaching from an AI trained on Matthew’s advice.
MHRetreat.com – Book your place for the October Miami Retreat (virtual + in-person options available).
Cozy Earth – Get 40% off loungewear and bedsheets with code LOVELIFE at CozyEarth.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	A lot of anxiously attached people are not people who immediately scream when they're feeling insecure.
0:07.5	They are quietly anxious because what they grew up learning was minimizing their needs, not having a voice.
0:14.5	Don't do anything that could scare love away.
0:25.7	Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. This is Love Life. I am Matthew Hussie, and I'm here with Stephen Hussie and Audrey Hussie. And today we are talking about the A word avoidance. Have you
0:35.5	dated an avoidant recently? Is some of the pain of your dating or love life
0:41.9	coming from having been attracted to someone like this? How has it affected you? What have been
0:48.3	your frustrations? We are going to be talking about the avoidant traits that you can expect to see when you date someone like this.
0:58.3	Do we over-label people avoidance?
1:01.3	Is it possible that someone could just be not ready to commit but not be an avoidant?
1:07.4	Why are avoidance so attractive?
1:10.3	And do you naturally attract avoidance more than you attract anybody else?
1:15.9	We're going to talk about where avoidance comes from. We're going to talk about how anxious attachment
1:20.8	styles and avoidant attachment styles interact. And we talk about how different attachment styles
1:27.0	interact with each other.
1:29.3	We also do a brand new segment of Steve's sleeves.
1:34.3	It's only got two ease.
1:36.3	And we have a love lifeline question from one of our dear listeners.
1:42.3	This is going to be a great one. We're excited for you to listen.
1:45.8	By the way, if you are one of our live loves, that is our love life members, you can also expect
1:52.3	some great stuff coming up. We have a new member orientation on the 18th of this month.
1:57.5	Audrey is doing a live coach check-in on the 20th. I will be doing a check-in with all of you
2:03.1	myself on the 23rd. And Stephen, on August the 5th, you're going to be doing an entire masterclass
	...

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