30 — Sasha & Stella Answer Your Questions: Part 2

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6 • 961 Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2021

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sasha and Stella answer listener questions… again! They start by highlighting recent episodes inspired by listener feedback. Next, they discuss the financial implications and complexities involved in adult children using their parents’ medical insurance. They reflect on the different roles that can emerge between mothers and fathers of gender dysphoric youth. Other questions address the similarities between body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, OCD, and other ruminative anxieties.

Links:

Activist Perspective on Body Dysmorphia & Gender Dysphoria

Austenhartke.com/blog/2015/5/19/o08szlrrhc8jaasya9s285qenydpy6

Homosexual OCD:

Centerforanxietydisorders.com/treatment-programs/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/hocd/

Trans OCD:

Treatmyocd.com/blog/transgender-ocd-symptoms-and-treatment

Aaron Kimberly on Benjamin Boyce:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcjBDi-ZRLA

Bryony Gordon, Mad Girl, book about OCD

Amazon.co.uk/Mad-Girl-Bryony-Gordon/dp/1472232089

Suicidality in Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2361388/

Extended Notes

A little update on what topics Stella and Sasha have in the pipeline!
This is the second episode where Stella and Sasha answer listener questions!
How do you manage the costs of gender? This listener asked her daughter to pay for her own gender medical expenses.
When does it make sense for parents to accept where their child is in life?
This parent wants to support her child through her journey, but she also doesn’t want to pay for something she disagrees with.
If the parent is paying for it, then she should be able to look at the bills she’s paying for. If her child does not want her to see the medical procedures, then she must take ownership of those costs.
This parent needs to remind her daughter about all the ways she is happy to support her necessities. Basic food, shelter, and safety. How she has done so since she was a child. Sometimes children need the reminder. She also has three other children to consider and it makes sense why she might be hesitant to spend large resources on one when an emergency could happen to another one.
When do you know you’re enabling your child?
The fact insurance covers so many of these medical procedures is very shocking. They have an allure that they’re safe to do. They’re not!
Next listener question! How does a man, who works in a blue-collared field, tell his friends that his son wants to be a girl?
Stella has noticed that those who attend support groups for their transitioning children, 95% of them are mothers. Where are the men?
No matter what happens to your child, look after your marriage. You are stronger together.
Men are often suffering in their own private way. They express themselves differently than women do.
At the end of the day, the body is real, you’re born with it, and it’s here to stay.
What is homosexual OCD or transgender OCD?

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to gender, a wider lens.
0:04.0	I'm Stella O'Malley, a psychotherapist in Ireland.
0:06.5	And I'm Sasha Ayad, an adolescent therapist in the United States.
0:10.6	Since 2016, my practice has been exclusively dedicated to gender questioning teens
0:16.1	and families impacted by gender dysphoria. I also work with gender questioning
0:20.7	teenagers and I facilitated support meetings for families and
0:24.2	individuals who have been impacted by gender issues. We're curious about the
0:28.1	concept of gender and how it's unfolding in the wider culture. Join us as we look at gender through a wider lens.
0:35.0	Hi, Sesha.
0:38.0	Hi Stella, how's it going?
0:40.0	Good, are you well?
0:42.0	I'm well, how about yourself? I am. We're having a normal cold wet summer in Ireland.
0:49.0	Okay. Sounds lovely and enticing.
0:52.0	So... Sounds lovely and enticing. So today we're having our second listener question episode and
1:00.1	we really enjoyed doing the first one. It was great to hear from our audience members.
1:04.7	People have written in on Twitter, on email, and all over Instagram, everywhere.
1:11.1	We've gotten great messages. And so we wanted to do a bit of a follow-up. So we discussed last time all of these plans for future episodes that were sparked by listener questions and so you know we've done the behind the
1:24.2	curtain series which addressed the question of well how do you actually work with
1:28.1	these young people in therapy and so we hope that audience members have enjoyed that we have gotten positive feedback about it. We have
1:33.4	gotten positive feedback about it and we know there was a lot of interest in giftedness and overexcitability and so we actually have a special
1:41.4	guest that will be on sometime in the next couple of months here to talk more with us about that.
1:49.0	And we also plan to do a series on parenting.
	...

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