3 Ways to Be a Better Listener: Episode 154
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 4 May 2021
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Listening is one of the most important skills in a relationship, and is fundamental to improving your communication!
The problem is we think listening is easy, but truly listening to your partner does NOT just automatically happen, and it's not a "passive" activity.
Truly listening takes effort and intention. The thing is, how you listen to your partner determines how much they feel understood, which then directly impacts your level of connection!
In this episode, we cover:
- The most common mistakes people make when "listening" to their partners
- 3 ways to be a better listener
Resources For Your Relationship:
Schedule a 2-on-2 Relationship Breakthrough Session here
About Us:
We're The Freemans, your go-to couple for authentic and actionable relationship advice. Send us your relationship questions for the show with a DM on Instagram. As you listen to the episode, tag us on an IG story and let us know what you loved.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast where here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:05.8 | advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay in the same team |
| 0:11.5 | no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, |
| 0:16.1 | but you all just know us as the Freeman's. And this episode is about three ways to be a better listener. So is anyone |
| 0:23.5 | here like, I don't need to get better. I'm capped out at the best listening that I could ever have. |
| 0:30.7 | Probably not because you clicked on this episode title. Right. And it is something that we all can get |
| 0:36.1 | better at and that there is no destination on. |
| 0:39.8 | You're never like, oh, I've reached this pinnacle of being an incredible listener, and I now don't need to bring any attention to this. |
| 0:47.1 | This is a skill that we all need to ongoingly bring attention to, and I'll be authentic and say, this is one I'm needing a reminder of right now. I have to be |
| 0:56.5 | authentic, been a bit more sensitive and defensive lately as Aaron's been sharing things. So |
| 1:01.6 | this episode is for me too as a reminder because we all need those. And so not only does it come |
| 1:08.2 | from our own life, but this is one that we work with couples on all the time in our sessions, you know, if we're helping them work through something in particular, we can watch the dynamic between the two of them and get a sense immediately of their normal patterns of how they listen or don't listen to each other. And so this is something we observe all the time |
| 1:29.3 | and this is something we also go into |
| 1:31.1 | in the argument hangover book as well. |
| 1:33.4 | You know, one of the sort of problems in a sense with this |
| 1:36.2 | is we think listening happens passively. |
| 1:39.9 | Right. |
| 1:41.1 | But it doesn't. |
| 1:42.2 | I'm not going to give you the answer yet |
| 1:43.6 | because you have to listen more to |
| 1:44.4 | this episode but when you think about that listening does take some additional intention and |
| 1:52.6 | attention an effort yeah effort for sure it's not this thing that you can just be going about your |
... |
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