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The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

296: How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life

The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Michelle Chalfant

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.91.6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2022

⏱️ 36 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.

 

Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.

 

Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It's not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.

 

In this episode, I'm sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life! 

 

Listen to discover:

  • What self-validation is and why it's important
  • The connection between self-validation and self-worth
  • What self-validation looks like in real life
  • Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
  • The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging

No one can make us feel or believe something we don't believe about ourselves. So, if we don't have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It's an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up. 

That's why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.

"Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is when we notice what we're doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self." - Michelle Chalfant

"When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive." - Michelle Chalfant

"It's your job to share with others what you need." - Michelle Chalfant

 

LINKS & RESOURCES 

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com  

 

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

 

The Adult Chair® Workshop 

https://theadultchair.com/events/

 

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

 

STAY CONNECTED

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, I'm Michelle Shelfand, psychotherapist, holistic life coach, and human just like you,

0:09.4

learning to navigate life challenges.

0:11.8

With over 25 years experience, I teach people how to get healthy using the adult chair model.

0:17.6

The adult chair model is where simple psychology meets grounded spirituality, and it teaches

0:23.0

us how to become healthy adults.

0:26.2

From anxiety and depression to codependency and relationship issues, you can use the

0:30.4

adult chair for just about anything.

0:33.7

Each week, I share practical tips, tools and advice from myself and a wide range of experts

0:40.0

on how to get unstuck, how to live authentically, and how to truly love yourself, all while

0:45.7

sitting in your adult chair.

0:48.8

Welcome to the adult chair podcast.

0:52.6

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the adult chair podcast.

0:56.8

I am Michelle Shelfand here with you in my adult chair in 2022.

1:03.9

Yes, indeed.

1:05.0

Happy new year, everybody.

1:06.5

We made it to 2022.

1:11.0

I'm very happy to be here.

1:12.4

I don't know why I have this feeling that 2022 is going to be incredible.

1:18.2

You guys have that feeling.

1:19.2

I don't know why, just I just have been very much looking forward to this year.

1:24.2

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday.

1:27.0

I had a lovely holiday.

...

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