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The Art of Charm

296: Derek Coburn | Networking is Not Working

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2014

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"The definition I use for networking is anything that increases the value of your network and/or the value you contribute to it. " - Derek Coburn The Cheat Sheet: Who you'll really meet at big networking events. Why successful networking is a lot like successful dating. What to ask yourself before you make an email introduction. Permission marketing: what is it, why you should use it and how. How to put together your own 20-25 person networking group. And so much more! Is networking a thing of the past? Or is there a new 3.0 version we can put into practice to make a difference in the lives of everyone in our circles? Derek Coburn is a master networker and author of Networking Is Not Working. He believes there is a better, natural way to fulfill the art of networking. He joins us for episode 296 to talk about what works, what doesn't work and how successful people network differently than the typical "big event" style. More About This Show: The concept behind networking has evolved and through over the decades, but most people are stuck in the "what can you do for me?" networking era. Some of those people have read books on the next level up of networking or the "how can I help you now so you help me later?" genre. But neither of those apply to what Derek says networking is. To him, networking is about connecting with others in your circles so everyone is enriched in the process. And this is most definitely something that happens outside of those big box-type networking events. Derek says you don't need those events and they probably won't do much to help you expand your relationships, your business/career path or any other area of your life. For the most part, they are useless. Why is that? Because, according to him, no one is who any good at networking is actually going to those events. The best and the most successful networkers won't be there. Derek goes on to explain the various versions of networking (1.0, 2.0 and 3.0) and why 3.0 is where it's at it today. According to Derek, in version 3.0 you can truly make yourself stand out among anyone else by adding value to all of your relationships through networking. That's the power of 3.0. A great example he gives is his 3 for 1's as he calls them. In the past, if he had a set of 4 tickets to a sporting event or a tournament he was sponsoring, Derek would invite 3 of his clients and the four of them would hang out together. Sounds great right? Sure, it was a good time for all of them. But Derek realized his clients would have an even better time if they were there with their friends, not a couple of guys they didn't know very well. So from then on, he began giving away 3 tickets for every 1. He gave his client a ticket to an event and then told him to invite 3 of his buddies and have a good time. Naturally, his clients loved him all the more for it. When Derek and his wife started the CADRE group, they wanted to help members gain referrals. Instead of just asking for referrals, they created an email template they could send out to anyone they wanted to invite to an introductory session. Even if you don't have your own business, you can take the principles of both of these examples and apply them to your life. Derek is always thinking about how to benefit others in his life and how he can make their life more enjoyable and more fulfilling. By adding value to their lives, they remember him and return his generosity. Think about: who do you know amongst your circles who would benefit from knowing each other? Derek also shares with us the proper way to make those introductions and pave the way for a clear connection between your two people. There's a definite way to make fruitful introductions and a way NOT to! Derek walks us through his thought process before doing so and we talk about introductions we've made on each other's behalf and what we'd do differently next time. There's plenty more to discover from Derek in this episode. He truly is a masterful networker and connector who has taught me a TON and I know he'll do the same for you. Have a listen and let me know what you think in the comments or send me an email! Resources from this episode: Derek's web site Cadre DC Why Networking Is Not Working You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email [email protected] Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Art of Charm. I'm Jordan Harbinger. The Art of Charm brings together the best coaches in the industry to teach you guys how to crush it and life, love and at work.

0:09.0

Imagine having a mix of experienced mentors teaching you their expertise, packing decades of research, testing and tough lessons into a concise curriculum.

0:18.0

We've created one of the premier men's lifestyle programs available anywhere and it's free. This is the show we wish we had a decade ago.

0:24.0

Now this show is about you and we're here to help you become the best man you can be in every area of your life.

0:30.0

Make sure to stay up to date with everything going on here and get some free e-books and drills and exercises that will help you become more charismatic and confident by signing up for the newsletter at theartofcharm.com.

0:40.0

If you're new to the show but you want to know more about what we teach here at the Art of Charm, listen to the Art of Charm Toolbox at theartofcharmpodcast.com slash toolbox.

0:48.0

That's where we've got the fundamentals of dating and attraction such as body language, eye contact, vocal personality, including some episodes on breakups and relationship management.

0:57.0

That's where all the basics are so get a handle on that first. We've got boot camps running every single month here in Hollywood, California details on those at theartofcharm.com.

1:06.0

Looking forward to meeting all you guys here at AOC.

1:08.0

Today we're talking with master networker Derek Coburn. We're going to talk about why networking isn't just about making connections so called unnetworking.

1:20.0

Why networking events and networking for its own sake is often useless and how to interact with busy people once you do get them actually face to face.

1:29.0

We've talked about an emailing business people earlier on the show. We're also going to talk about something called permission networking and why it's key to you being the ultimate connector and hug.

1:38.0

You're going to talk about your own network, managing introductions between spokes in your network for maximum impact and using networking is a value add in your own business and relationships.

1:49.0

Last but not least, making sure your networking efforts put you at top of mind for potential clients and business relationships. So enjoy this one with Derek Coburn author of networking is not working.

1:58.0

Derek Coburn, I'm glad to have you here. I know we've talked about networking before on the show and it's funny because I believe we did refer to it as networking 2.0 and before the show we were talking about networking 3.0, which is what we're talking about here and I love how you just I see what you did there. You're like everyone's going to talk about networking 2.0. I'm just going to start at three because why not.

2:20.0

Yeah, and then of course you have the crowd like the early adopter crowd who's who they're already sick of the 3.0's and you know we use the term unnetworking to describe the professional community that we serve.

2:33.0

So it's trying to advance the ball and find that good middle ground where you're appealing to as many people as possible.

2:39.0

Exactly, but you know all jokes aside networking is huge personal relationships are huge. You can't build a strong business without it.

2:46.0

You can't build any kind of social circle without it. It's not just handing out business cards, but I get as much networking information as I can because there are better ways to systemize it.

2:56.0

There are better ways to build those relationships and a lot of guys come through the art of charm live training because they're thinking, OK, I know the system.

3:05.0

I know how to systemize my networking. I know that I need to build relationships. I just need the nuance stuff. We're going to talk about a lot of stuff here, but some guys will come through and they go, I don't know how to really nail the first impression.

3:18.0

I don't know how to get people to like and trust me in a short amount of time enough that they want to do business and we've talked about this before, but people buy you when they do business with you.

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