295. Why we have vulnerability hangovers
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.9 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2025
⏱️ 52 minutes
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Summary
Have you ever opened up, shared something real, and then immediately regretted it? That post-overshare spiral—the “why did I say that?” dread—is what we call a vulnerability hangover. In this episode, we dive deep into the psychology behind why vulnerability can feel so physically and emotionally intense, even when it’s necessary, honest, and healing.
We explore:
- The two types of vulnerability hangovers (and why both are valid)
- Why alcohol, trauma dumping, and people-pleasing make it worse
- How shame and past betrayals shape our fear of being seen
- The neuroscience behind your emotional "come down"
- What to do the day after you said too much
- How to make vulnerability a tool for connection—not something to fear
Plus, we answer listener questions on post-therapy crashes, drunk confessions, and how to stay open even when it’s hard. If you’re sitting with a case of the cringe, this episode is for you.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to an I-Heart podcast. |
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| 0:08.0 | And we love sharing what we've learned. |
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| 0:14.0 | I'm Daniel. I'm a particle physicist, and I think our universe is absolutely extraordinary. |
| 0:18.0 | I'm Kelly Weiner-Smith. I study parasites. and there's just endless things about this universe that I find fascinating. |
| 0:24.5 | Basically, we're both nerds. |
| 0:25.9 | Each Tuesday and Thursday, we take an hour-long dive into some science topic. |
| 0:29.8 | Learn all about our amazing and beautiful universe on Daniel and Kelly's Extraordinary Universe |
| 0:35.2 | every Tuesday and Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, |
| 0:40.1 | Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:41.2 | Hello everybody. |
| 0:42.9 | Welcome back to the show. |
| 0:48.8 | Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. |
| 0:57.1 | It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. |
| 1:06.0 | Let's be so real right now. Saying what we mean and what we feel is really hard and it is certainly not helped by some of the sensations we feel afterwards, the kind of cringiness of feeling like we |
| 1:13.8 | overshared, that we said too much to the wrong person. In other words, the experience of a |
| 1:20.3 | vulnerability hangover. It's something you and I, the whole world, every person has most likely |
| 1:27.3 | experienced at some stage. |
| 1:29.4 | You know, you confess your romantic feelings for someone. |
| 1:32.7 | You say the wrong thing after a night of drinking. |
| 1:36.1 | You share too much. |
... |
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