295 // How to Manage An Assertiveness Hangover

The Mindful Kind

Rachael Kable

Mindfulness, Mindful, Health & Fitness, Self-help, Inspiration

4.6 • 636 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2021

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hello and welcome to episode 295 of The Mindful Kind podcast.

In this episode, you'll learn about an "assertiveness hangover" - a concept inspired by a recent session with a wonderful client.

An assertiveness hangover can occur after you clearly implement your boundaries, but then feeling guilty or worried about them.

If you'd like to learn more about assertiveness, read chapter 15 of The Mindful Kind book and listen to episode 102 of The Mindful Kind podcast.

Here are 3 steps for dealing with an assertiveness hangover:

1: Reassure yourself and commend yourself for being assertive.

2: Feel your emotions (eg guilt or worry) without reacting to them.

3: Keep being assertive! Watch out for the benefits of it and keep building your skills.

To find out more about working with me via Skype, head over to www.rachaelkable.com/podcast/295.

Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a wonderful week, Mindful Kind.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Mindful Kind podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Cable, author of the
0:08.9	Mindfulkind book, Mindfulness Teacher and blogger at Rachelcable.com. Each week this podcast will bring
0:15.4	meaningful tips, tools and strategies so you can manage stress and live more mindfully in the modern world.
0:24.3	Hello and welcome to episode 295 of the Mindful Kind podcast. So I was chatting with one of my
0:30.8	wonderful clients recently and she was explaining this experience she'd had where she practiced
0:36.2	assertiveness at work, which is something that we've
0:38.6	been working on together. She implemented a great boundary that she couldn't take on a new project
0:44.0	because she already had enough on her plate, but soon after she started feeling guilty,
0:49.3	like maybe she should have just said yes and made everyone else happy. And I know this is something I've done
0:55.5	quite a few times too. It really got me thinking about this concept of an assertiveness hangover,
1:02.2	that perhaps we practice being assertive, we set those great boundaries and then we feel guilty
1:07.7	or worried and we go and take it all back.
1:15.5	We essentially destroy all those good boundaries we set and end up doing the thing that we originally didn't want to do.
1:17.8	And I thought this might be an experience you've encountered too, or you might go through it
1:22.5	in the future.
1:23.7	So I asked my client if I could share her story and talk more about the concept of an assertiveness
1:29.1	hangover and how to manage it on this episode of the podcast.
1:33.2	And she said yes, which is really exciting.
1:35.6	So here we go.
1:37.2	Just in case you haven't heard about assertiveness before, it's basically a way of communicating
1:41.6	that's direct, clear and respectful.
1:46.2	It can allow you to express your wants and needs, including your boundaries, so that other people know where you stand.
	...

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